An Update

Before I start this post, I want to say to anyone who is in the L.A. area, my heart is broken for your loss amidst the wildfires this past week. My brain can’t fathom the amount of loss and pain so many people have endured during the ongoing fires. If you are wanting to help, there are many ways to donate; we chose to donate to Baby2Baby and the LA Fire Department but there are many to choose from. (I actually found this article and list really helpful, if you need some resources for donations.) And of course, if you know of any GoFundMe pages or another charity / disaster relief, please feel free to leave a comment below with a link. <3

Hello friends!

I wanted to have a little catch up as it’s been a minute since I’ve posted! I wouldn’t say that I’m all the way back but I’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled content this week. To catch you up, we moved over the Christmas break (the day before NYE — something that I would *not* recommend)I repeat: Don’t move during the month of December, don’t move during the holidays, don’t do it. And yet, I’ve done it twice. Some people never learn.

So as of last week, we are in the new house, in a new city (but still in the DFW metroplex!) and although it’s just about 30 miles up the road, it feels like a whole new world to us. We had been in McKinney for 13 years and I think we just needed a shake up. We’ve also downsized our house a bit, too which seems to be a theme for my life right now. (more on this subject later!) I can’t wait to share more of the house with you all, too. I still need to hang art, find rugs and window coverings, but I’m excited to see it all come together. It’s always a process isn’t it? I’ll try to bring you guys along as I make updates to the new house, but for now I’m just glad there are zero boxes in sight.

Last week, our daughter went back to school for two days…and then Texas got the once in every three years snow storm. It was just enough to build a snowman, ice up the roads and cancel school for two days. We were going on day 22 of no school since the winter break started. So trying to create content during the holidays, the move, and the longest school break ever was out of the question. And today is my dream day: I’ve got a mostly unpacked, semi-clean house, a full week of school and some outfits I’d love to share this week. But first I’d like to do a few life updates, if that’s alright with you.

I feel like I’m about as 180º as a person can be from last year at this time. Mentally and physically I was not doing well and we were in the process of selling our house on top of it all. Last year was a rough year for me but simultaneously it was a reset for my system. My body and brain gave me no choice some days than to just stop. I ended up working really hard on listening to my body and brain during these mandatory shut downs; so I continued therapy, started eating healthier, working out, going for walks and just trying to find some inner balance. By last June, ever so slowly I started to heal. It’s hard trying to continue your forward facing job as well when inside you’re falling apart. So if my content has felt off — it has to me — for about two years, it’s because I was struggling personally. It’s really hard for me to separate the two things as much as I’ve tried; KE is direct reflection of me. Work wise it was probably my least productive year, which can cause feelings of shame, guilt. But when I look back on it, instead I put more energy into healing myself and now I can say confidently I feel like myself again. I feel like an actual human being again. I didn’t dread January, like I usually do. I didn’t have a mental breakdown at the end of December, like I typically do. Yes, even with a move. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished inwardly last year, even if I don’t have much to show for it professionally.

I’ve also lost weight as well. I’ve had a few people ask about this and yes, I’ve lost 30 lbs over the last year. I gained about 40 lbs driven by an antidepressant I was taking and adrenal fatigue. For me, every single time my long term use of antidepressants has always lead to weight gain. Even though I was working out 5 days a week and trying every diet in the world, I couldn’t control the weight gain. I had become really inflamed and swollen and my body stopped feeling like home. Last winter, at the height of the inflammation and weight gain, the comments I received of ‘you don’t look like yourself anymore’ or ‘stop getting fillers’ were not only rude but also highlighting something I already felt and couldn’t control. For the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with cosmetic surgery or injectables (I get botox!), but being accused of changing my face when I hadn’t, hurt. It was also a hard push on my already bruised mental health. So for the record, I didn’t get cosmetic surgery, I didn’t get fillers, I had simply gained weight and it changed my face. As I’ve lost weight, my face has once again changed and as a I get older it will continue to change. As my body was gaining weight and I couldn’t really stop it, I tried to embrace it as much as I could. When I was able to go off of the medication, I started seeing weight loss and now here we are. I do ‘feel’ more like myself — although my therapist has a few words to say about this topic but I keep changing the subject on him so TBD — and physically, I feel healthier. Honestly, all I wanted was to just fit into some of my old clothes and to ‘feel’ like myself again and I couldn’t be more grateful that I do.

Moving forward with content on KE, I’m pretty sure I’ll start a substack here in the next month or so but will continue posting here as well. As an elder millennial who loves her job, I know I need to evolve and I want to meet you where you are at. It seems like so many people love their Substack reads (I’m one of them!) and it feels like the natural next step. I’m also wanting to share more of my ‘everyday’ outfits on here and feel like I can do that with the new house set up, etc. I was kind of doing this with my ‘what I wore last week posts’, but I’d like to step it up one more level with the photos, so we will see how this comes together! Although, Lord knows I love a good selfie. By the way, those posts were the best I could do most weeks last year. Sometimes it was all I could do. That’s how I know I’m doing better as well; I can move the goal posts a little further north and still reach them.

I’m also in a strange place of downsizing my own closet (because my new closet is tiny but I love it) and wanting to continue bringing you fresh style content. I’ve mentioned this here before that it truly is a balancing act of having too much stuff for real life or not having enough for content. However that is a line I have to decipher as a content creator, so I appreciate you sticking around to see how I juggle these two things. On the upside, I’m also about to do a huge drop in my pre-loved shop! A lot of things from last year no longer fit but are in excellent condition, so I should have a new drop next week and a lot more this spring. This new small closet is really going to work out for all of us 😉 However this subject matter — less clothes, second hand, shopping, etc. is a whole thing I have a lot more to comment on. Am I becoming a minimalist? No lol forever but something is changing around here and I’m excited to see how it all shakes out.

I think that’s the lot of what’s going on around these parts, or at least what’s on my mind today. I appreciate you for staying around all these years and for letting me human some days (or years!) I can honestly say I am so excited to bring you content this year, so thank you for being here and for supporting me throughout all the years.

I’ll be seeing you around this week! Cheers to a new year but the same old blog.

xx, kendi