We didn’t get outfit photos this morning and I don’t have any in the arsenal waiting to post. And for the first time in a long time, I’m okay with this. I can describe my outfit for you if you’d like — it’s a black maxi dress, sandals, hair in a bun, the usual for a running late kind of morning. The reason we didn’t get photos was because I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. This is actually a very typical night for me. This is what I don’t tell you about owning a business. Yes, it’s a lot of fun but you lose a lot of sleep. In fact, when I sleep through the night again I’m buying everyone a drink. The thing is when you don’t sleep a lot, you don’t want to take pictures of yourself with your dark-circled eyes. And that my friends, is what it is.
This post is not here to say that it’s hard to run a business, because well it is. In fact that’s why I’ve never really talked about opening the shop on here because to be honest, this past year has been the hardest year of my life. Year 27 will go down in the books as many things — the year of starting my business, the year of making a ton of mistakes, the year of exhaustion. But a good year, a very good year in that. But today I decided that I was tired and that I wasn’t going to waste my time trying to make people think that I wasn’t.
Most days I have it together. Most days. Somedays I don’t and I just need you to know that. Just in case you don’t have it all together, too. Maybe we can be friends and tell each other it’s okay to be a mess sometimes.
I think that one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is that just because something is hard doesn’t mean that’s it bad. I’m a very black and white person. Something is either good or bad, happy or sad. (And also I’m a Dr. Suess fan.) But the older I get the more I learn how grey life really is. I’ve always wanted Kendi Everyday to be a positive place — probably because deep in my heart I want so desperately to be an optimist, which I am not. Outfits are happy, so I stick to outfits. But today I would just like to be Kendi, if that’s okay. I’d like to share my story of how I started the shop and my journey along the way. Not right now of course because none of those words have made it to paper quite yet. But someday, I’d like to. You know when we were kids and if you didn’t say something when someone questioned the truth, it still counted as a lie? Well, I’ve been quiet even though I know the truth and I’m tired of being afraid of what’s honest. Yes, outfits are pretty, but so is life, even when it’s trying, hard, and exhausting. Even when it kicks your cutely dressed ass.
This post really serves no other purpose other than to say, ‘hey guys I’m tired trying to look perfect all the damn time.’ I’m quite okay with not being perfect, so I’m not sure why I’ve been obsessed with making sure my life looks squeaky clean. So let’s have a moment of silence for my well-scrubbed life. It’s nice to see her go.
464 Responses
after observing the moment of silence for your well-scrubbed life, I’d like to welcome the messy Kendi. I love the honesty in this post and I look forward to reading more about the lessons you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. also. can you skip work when you’re the boss? take a nap! they’re delicious. 🙂
amen! it’s hard to get caught up when you become your blog. but really, we should all slow down and change things – our blogs should be us…messy, tired, stressed and oh-so-unperfect!
Ahhh so well put! ‘It’s hard to get caught up when you become your blog.” Dang girl, that’s it right there. And yes you just described me — messy, tired and imperfect 🙂
I know how hard life can be.. i used to always wonder about you opening the shop and how hard a business especially in the first year is.. Kudos to you for looking good through it all whether thru your outfits or thru this post today!
<3
Style in the City
cheers to you, kendi!
Its good to know you are human : )
Word! Well said, girl! This post was a different type of inspirational (which is equally good, if not better). Thanks 🙂
http://cstyledesign.blogspot.com
Incredible post, Kendi! Thanks for opening up. I’m the queen of just being a mess sometimes – it happens to the best of us. I’m in the process of starting my own biz in my 27th year. I turn 27 tomorrow. Good to know what i’m in for (sleepless nights, etc) 😉
Will probably be writing a post or two about some of these concepts on my two blogs within the next day or so – hope you don’t mind if I reference your post!
xoxo
Sarah
http://somecallmesjp.blogspot.com/
http://www.mybucketlistwish.com
Thank you for such a beautifully honest post… I’m not sure if your messy truth needs an ‘I’m sorry and I hope it gets better” or not, but there it is if you need it! It’s very refreshing sitting on the strictly reader side of the blogosphere to see there are messes to clean up in bloggers seemingly perfect looking lives. All of your readers love you for YOU and all the messes that come with it.
Dudette,
I read a lot of blogs and a lot of them lean toward being super upbeat, “perfect”, and positive… Which is great, but reality is that things just aren’t that way. I really admire ladies my age who are doing amazing things with their lives when they come out and say, “Hey, this is what’s really up”. Being cute and dressing well and talking about clothes is fun, but being open and honest about things that are trying or what-have-you is relatable.I’m excited to hear your story of opening a shop. It’s something I am toying with doing where I live and could use a dose of reality to temper my daydreaming.
Funny, I was always a black and white kinda person too and you definitely realize how grey it really is as you get older..less right and wrong just different situations and realities.
Love your honesty and openness…and on a lighter note the pic you posted is awesome!
take care my love
Sheree x
http://www.itsnotthatdeep.com
That was posted by me, btw. Something funky happened there!
Oh Kendi! Your post really struck a chord, i’m sitting here responding with tears. The last year for me has been a hard one, especially the last few months, heck the last week has been awful, and i AM a positive person. But sometimes we have to pause, take a breath and say to ourselves (if not everyone else) that i am not perfect and i am ok with that. Just because something is hard or it didn’t turn out the way you wanted doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do. Strong women aren’t made by taking the easy road. I don’t know about you but i learn more from the mistakes and making the tough decisions, it means i am hard on myself but it makes me a better person. And personally i like it when you are not perfect, it shows me how strong you really are.
I’d do that “props to you” chest pounding thing if I knew how to convey it online – as you mentioned above, I’m sure plenty of readers will relate to your “messy side” and appreciate your candor. No one has it all together. Sometimes it’s nice to look at other peoples’ lives and aspire to their level of seeming perfection, but it’s also great to read about real people going through the every day ups and downs.
And, to be honest, it does help to know that you make everything in your life seem so perfect but only by regularly sacrificing sleep and relaxation. I’m not sure I have the commitment for that. MORE props to you!
You know what’s interesting? I keep coming back to some blogs soley because of their beautiful outfits and photography. But I come back to yours more so for the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, your outfits are lovely, but what I really love is reading your commentary. Most days it makes me laugh and on days like today it makes me think. I’m pretty okay with the fact that there’s no outfit post today, and I’m also pretty okay with the fact that you’re not perfect. None of us are either.
Thanks love!! this is a great post, and happy you took time for yourself!
xxS
We love you just the way you are! 🙂
I would really like to hear the opening story of your shop.I am planning to open my own business so i’m very curious 🙂
I love your blog and love your honesty. Thank you for sharing your heart – it only makes me love your blog more!
Blogs can typically be a competition to see who is the most put-together, who has the most fabulous wardrobe ensembles, who makes life look easy, but the truth is, nobody wants to see that. I’d much rather read a beautiful post like this that is honest and real than see a whole bunch of perfection that’s fake. You go, girl. I like your outfit posts, but it’s also refreshing to know that you’re real too : )
“Just because something is hard doesn’t mean that it’s bad”–I couldn’t agree more! Life is hard and always will be, life likes to kick asses, those that are cutely clad and those that are not, but that’s part of what makes life beautiful. Without hardships, ugliness, and just downright bad things in our lives, would we every truly be able to appreciate just how good & beautiful the rest of it can be?
Love. Thanks for sharing. I highly enjoyed the honesty.
xoxo,
The gal w/ a side swept ponytail, bangs all over the place, who certainly understands what days are like when you don’t have it all together.
Aw, Kendi…what a great post! Thanks for having the courage to be so honest and raw. So much of what you said resonated with me. While blogging is a major joy in my life, sometimes, I also feel like I’m “faking it” a lot. Focusing on outfits and fun things in my posts and glossing over (or completely skipping over) the hard, messy, un-fun things that go on in my life. For example…for six months last year…I was unemployed (got laid off from my job)…and I never breathed a peep of it on the blog. I can’t even believe I’m posting it here. Thanks for giving me a little boost of courage to be more honest with my readers too…looking forward to the real Kendi on KendiEveryday…congrats for being so brave! You’re a rockstar, girl!
http://www.butshoppingmakesmehappy.blogspot.com
here’s a big ol hug, lady. you are a baller, shot caller. thanks for keepin’ it real. posts like these should be called “keepin’ it real with kendi” 😉
I love this post. As a blog reader, it’s easy to idolize bloggers and long for their “perfect lives.” It’s refreshing to know that you’re not perfect. No one is, and that’s what makes you special and interesting!
This is such a great post. Thanks so much for writing, and I of course totally relate. I’m sure we all do, and if someone doesn’t, I’m going to bet that they’re lying to themselves. I am looking forward to hearing the story of how Bloom was opened, and year 27. I’m sure it was a doozy but hopefully also super rewarding. We need more honesty in the blogging world – I’m sick of thinking that everyone except me has their life together. So thanks for this 🙂
I love this post. Probably won’t of my favorites I’ve read in the last two years of me following your blog. So honest, and so true. Thanks for being Kendi today!
sincerelysk.blogspot.com
SK
Hang in there – I love your posts and appreciate that you are keeping it real! As everyone else has pointed out we love you just the way you are…
It IS okay a to be a mess, Kendi. And you’d better believe that your bajillion followers are here not only for your outfits but for your perspective, witty writing and journey. When you have the time–when the words allow themselves to be written–this will probably one of the most welcoming places you could share your story. I think I can speak for everyone when we say we adore you, whether you’re perfectly together or fraying at the seams.
Amen sister… owning a business is crazy, tough, stressful, demanding, amazing work. Sometimes you suffer, sometimes everyone around you suffers, and then sometimes… you have one of those days when you are on top of the world. I’m with you.
somehow your post of admitting imperfection turned out perfectly. thank you for your honesty. you’re a good egg. 🙂
Thank you for your honesty Kendi. It’s really easy to look at every blog and say “why isn’t my life that perfect?!”. Thank you for showing a more private side of you. We appreciate it.
I would love if you shared more about the hardships and trials of starting your own business. I don’t know if it will be possible, but it’s still my secret dream to have my own business some day and I realize I don’t have any role models close to me that I can learn from. Hearing first hand experience from someone who brings a little joy to my day would be fantastic! ^_^
Thank you for your honesty, and I love the observation/reminder that hard does not = bad. I visit your blog for the outfits but way, way more to read your words. If you didn’t have interesting and funny things to say, I never would have added you to my reader – I appreciate your sharing this part of you. And as a fellow small business owner, I’d love to read the story of your shop.
love this. i’m all about keeping it real. being honest. up front. transparent. that’s what makes me keep coming back to your blog every day. not because you have it all figured out. preach, sister.
great post.
I’m with Miss Sassypants — tears. Thank you.
I think it says something great about you that you are willing to show enough vulnerability with your readers to share the hard parts of life. We (fashion & beauty bloggers) should all do this more, in my opinion. Because, as you so aptly put it, it is REAL & it is HONEST and no one has it all together all the time. 🙂
enjoy the pause! great post 🙂 as always.
Whew…thank goodness. I thought you were an alien!
such true statements and really great to hear…of course you are tired! i think all of us love this blog, happy or sad, as long as it’s real. as someone starting in the blog world i really appreciate that struggle of trying to maintain an image in order to keep people happy, but sometimes ya gotta just be real, like really real. thanks for sharing!
Kendi, I L-O-V-E the blog, and like many here, love your humor. I’m way older than you (46 to be exact). You are so right, the older you get, the more you see the gray in everything. But the cool part is, the gray is definitely okay (oh gasp, another Suess fan).
Life throws us a lot of curves, but you keep putting your cute boots back on. 3 years ago (this October) I almost died. After emergency heart surgery, 15 days on life support (one of those days was my son’s 11th birthday), 35 days in the hospital, and a loooooong recovery… I met the love of my life. And sometime in that year, I stopped looking at my life as this effed up broken mess, this Plan B, and started to see it as this beautiful mess. I never imagined at 44 years old, I would meet a man that would radically except me, just as I was, and think I was this beautiful goddess. Amazeballs!And YOU… specifically you Mrs. Skeen, inspired me, that I could mix together pieces in my closet and have some style. Sorry to rattle on. I see the snarky typo Police and jealous beatch comments on different blogs, and think every blogger needs a friend to filter that nonsense out.I just want you to know that your blog is a HAPPY place for me, and so many others. Gosh, do you realize how much people adore you. It’s almost stalkerish. Kidding, sort of 🙂
And to any of you young ones who might read this novella: It wasn’t the man that completed me, or made me feel whole. It was a lot of talks over wine with friends, prayer, learning to show myself the same grace and kindness I show to people I like and love, and some good therapy.Hang in there Kendi! And THANKS 1,000,000 for all the ways you inspire!Karen
Life is hard and life is not perfect. I’m totally up for telling each other it’s ok to be a mess sometimes, because some days I just don’t want to get out of bed (mostly because it’s just so cozy). I love your honesty and honestly, this was a welcomed post and I really needed it today. So thank you for not being perfect and reminding me that that is ok. 🙂
xo, Yi-chia
I’ve been struggling lately with finding motivation to study and commit to a career path. When you say “just because something is hard doesn’t mean its bad” it makes me realize I need to suck it up and give it my all! Thanks for a great post 🙂
Amen!
Love this! Shout out to all those tired girls out there!
http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/
Yep, one hot mess here too. Always ready to share in the chaos. ::cheers::
Good for you Kendi! We can be a hot mess together! =) Nice to see when bloggers share their lives – especially the nitty gritty. Thanks!
everyone needs a good pause sometimes 🙂 thanks for sharing and definitely appreciated reading this!
Here, have a virtual hug. And a glass of wine. And some chocolate (dark of course so we can pretend it’s a nutritious treat). Take a break and relax! I think I speak for all your fans when I say, we love you, humanity and all.
Thanks for being so honest. I read your blog everyday but, know that what is on the surface isn’t all that exists in your life. Be true to yourself and work hard and if it’s something that is worth working at, it is never going to be easy, but you will be rewarded. At 45, I don’t have it all figured out and still make mistakes. That’s why you (and all of us) are a humans, being.
Honest and humbling. Love it. xo Quiet Luxury
one of the best blog posts. ever. thank you.
I look like a mess 5 days of the week. I totally get it. 🙂
Yes, I agree with all you said above. Sometimes we try to pretend everything is wonderful when it really isn’t. But that is life… with ups and downs… but it’s damn beautiful and we have only one.
So.. cheer up, tomorrow will be worse..
http://www.zadinblog.com
Thank you so much for this post Kendi! Life isn’t perfect and it’s not black and white. There’s a lot to be said for the grey areas. I’ve grown to be an optimist, but I’m definitely not one by nature. I turned 30 last September and this has been the hardest year of my life. But you just pick yourself up and keep going. You do it for yourself, your career, your family, your sanity, and any number of other reasons. But the point is that you keep doing it.
http://hopefaithandblessings.blogspot.com/
i’ve never commented before, but i adore your blog. i love the outfits, but the truth is i read it for your words more than anything. 🙂 it’s funny you are posting this because i’ve never thought you were trying to be perfect… your humor is what sets you apart from other fashion bloggers in my opinion. while everyone else is acting like they have it all together and are living these “perfect” lives, you’re making me laugh and nod my head right along with you. i mean, i may never have legs like yours (well… i definitely won’t), or your sense of style, but you seem like a normal girl, and i love that. THAT’S why you’re in my reader.
Just made me cry. I too am 27 and started a business this year. Its one of the hardest things I’ve done and I too slept very little last night, per the usual. Thank you thank you thank you for the timely reminder that I’m not in this alone.
love this post.
I just want to reach through the screen and give you a business-lady-to-business-lady hug. One, because I appreciate the honesty of this post. And two, because I totally relate. I’ve shifted the focus of my blog over the last several months to include bits of pieces of my life and our business, and it helped me turn down the pressure to post style stuff every day. Because some days just aren’t pretty. And that’s okay!
As for the sleep, I get it. I spent two weeks sleeping on the pull-out couch in the family room just so I could get some undisturbed shut-eye. Hang in there. I always remind C that while things are crazy and overwhelming right now and it seems like we’re never going to get a break ever again, I know we’re going to look back on this crazy time and remember it as some of our very best years.
I love your blog and its so great to get a little insight into your life, really! Also this couldn’t have come at a better time…I’ve been sitting at my job all day, wearing the same skirt from two days ago and a messy (greasy) ponytail, thinking that this is probably the least put-together I’ve looked in years. Its great to know that some other people are not so put-together today too. Thanks!
Your honesty is a touch of reality that we all need. Inspiring and motivating. Thank you for standing in your best outfit yet! Humility.
I am at a place in my life where there is a lot of struggle and questions unanswered for the next few months. It’s hard but you have the right attitude. Good things can come out of hard work and stress even if they are a long term goal. I try to keep my blog positive, too, but this is your creative outlet as much as a business and portfolio of pretty clothes in pictures. I hope you keep staying true to yourself. My biggest lesson in my struggles so far is that knowing I will win big at the end of the journey is motivation, but when that isn’t working, letting go of the frustration through exercising, bitching and temporarily being whiney is an acceptable solution just so long as I get back on it when i get my frustrations out.
So long well-scrubbed life. I have learned to do the same, and trust me, it’s freeing to just be you sometimes without all the fuss. I hope that you are truly enjoying your new life as a business owner. The first year will surely be tough, but keep pushing forward, big dreams are the stuff life is made of.
again! you’ve cemented your spot as my favorite blogger. I’m sure you’re excited.
this was so great to read — solidarity in the imperfect. Lord knows everyone’s got a lot of that floating around their vida locas.
I’ve been reading a lot of fashion blogs lately, but I have to say that your blog is my favorite. You are honest and funny and seem like an actual normal human being. I love that you are not some glamazon who only cares about pretty things. This post is certainly refreshing.
Long time reader, first time commenter. Your post inspired me to comment and say THANK YOU. The blogosphere is an easy place to make your life seem better than perfect and it’s always nice for a dose of realism. So thank you Kendi!
some days you just want to wallow and eat chocolate in sweatpants 😉
I’m sorry you are not getting sleep and feeling run down 🙁 I know how that can take its toll. Te blogs I love the MOST are the ones where the blogger is REAL and has these moments just like me. It helps us all to be better so that we aren’t at home reading and thinking “I wish my life was as perfect as [insert name here]. Thank you for your honesty!
Grey is a good way to describe life sometimes! I really like grey! Love the honesty!
lifeandstylebylisab.blogspot.com
Another long-time reader, first-time commenter here. Your posts always make me wish we were friends (I mean this in a very non-creepy way, I swear). Perhaps today more than ever, though.
Your honesty is inspiring, and you always look beautiful as I’m sure you do right now even on a day when you’re feeling a mess. None of us have it all together and that’s why it’s so aggravating when people pretend they do! Thank you.
I’ve been following your blog for about a year now and now I just like you even more! Thanks for being real.
Long-time reader, first time commenter too. Just wanted you to know that I am so amazed that you leveraged your already amazing and fun-to-read blog into a brick and mortar business. I am rooting for you! We need more badass blogger ladies out there who have more to offer us than c/o outfits and faux-chipper prose. I love hearing about your real life. Take a day to bitch and moan and then get back to the grindstone!!! 🙂
No one is perfect, regardless of what their manicured blog and cute outfits seem to indicate. You have a deservingly very popular and awesome blog and your own business at 27 – in my books you are the furthest thing from a mess! I hope you get to rest soon and thank you for your honesty!
Maja – clotheskinksandcurls.blogspot.ca
I just love, you friend! And I’m proud of you. That is all.
I’ve been a long time reader and you know what? I totally love this. It is such a rarity in fashion blogging that someone gets real and admits that life throws you some curveballs sometimes. Kudos to you for sharing! As others have said, I like you even more now!
hang in there, girl! your honestly is refreshing and i, like you, am a lifelong non-optimist (it’s hard to admit you’re a pessimist). following your dreams and ambition is never an easy feat, so if it’s sucking the life out of you, you must be doing something right. keep on keeping on!
I’ve been following you for quite some time, and I must say, I love your outfits (in fact, today I went birthday shopping and your pictures helped me choose something wonderful that’s also flattering), and yet this post helped me to see more about you than anything else I’ve read. Thank you for your openness and genuineness, you’re right, just because things are hard it doesn’t mean they are not good- awesome reminder. Last year was a tough year for me too, so as we grow together, we’ll continue as cyber friends. xo
Amen girl! I can just picture you sitting there in your awesome outfit feeling like a disheveled mess and laughing to yourself with delirium as you’re writing this post.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all done it. And we’ve all made it through.
You’ve got a blog full of optimism here and even though you say that’s not how you are in real life, it is who you are because this blog is all you (does that make sense???).
Loved this post.
Meg
@Missmegasaurus:twitter
http://www.glamoroushustle.com
The best post I’ve ever read PERIOD. On behalf of all the girls out there THANK YOU! Signed about to turn 30 and still clueless
Amen to being a mess sometimes. You do appear to “have it all, all while holding the perfect sock bun” but you are human. And we forget sometimes! You’re doing an AMAZING job, so keep up the HARD work, because as I know as a fashion blogger, 3 job working gal, life is hard and it ain’t pretty.
Here’s to a day of looking like a hot mess! Cheers!
xoxo Jessica
http://www.mystylevita.com
I completely, totally, and entirely relate. 100%. I think the best thing I’ve learned since blogging is that it’s okay to take a day (or two or three…or more) off if you’re not feeling it. I’m a teacher–and it’s super hard to get the motivation to get dressed in the summer (much less roll out of bed and turn off Netflix). When I first started blogging, I worried that any and all followers would abandon me if I didn’t have something to post, but the amazing thing is…they’re all still there for me when I finally do. And so will all of us!
Either way, your outfit sounds fab today.
THIS is my favorite post. I am having the WORST day and I felt such relief to see someone on the internet admit, hey, my life isn’t perfect.
I’m with ya, Kendi.
Oh it’s one of those moments when I feel such an urge to comment but 67 other people have got there first and pretty much all of them have said just what I wanted to say! Do you need another one? Probably not, but I feel I need to write it anyway… It was so lovely to read this, to see a bit of the you behind the blog, to feel that we are all a little more human, fallible (and thus wonderful) than we think. I try to only read blogs that relate to what I write about, but allow myself just one or two style blogs to add a little sparkle to my day. You always sparkle, with your lovely style of clothing and witty style of writing. But in this post you shine. I look forward to seeing more of just Kendi, she’s my kinda girl.
I appreciate your honesty and it’s most likely why (beyond your humor, inspiring entrepreneurial spirit, genuineness, and your fab style), you’re not only one of my favorite bloggers, but just one of the coolest chicks I know. I’m a hot mess 99 percent of the time and imnglad to know we aren’t alone out there 🙂 its amazing all the things you’ve done in the last year and for what it’s worth, I’m proud and constantly inspired by you.
I’ve found that the less I try to be perfect, the closer I get to happiness, which to me, is perfection.
I applaud your honesty… too many women feel the need to achieve perfection, and I think the truth is, we are all perfectly flawed, beautiful human beings.
You have been my favorite fashion blog for as long as I’ve been following fashion blogs, and not because you seem perfect, but because you seem the most real — so kudos to revealing another layer.
I LOVE THIS POST. We would be friends…I know it. 🙂
Glad to hear the honest Kendi, I hate being super jelly towards you, always cute, always together. Thanks for being real. We appreciate it.
I love your blog so much – whether you have a pretty outfit picture or just a really honest couple of paragraphs. I’m a mess some days too, and pretty sure everyone else out there is too! I would love to hear about how you started your store and what it’s all been like since. Looking forward to that post 🙂
Sarah
smalltowncatwalk.blogspot.ca
I needed this post today. Thank you! You are so inspiring to me! We all have been or will be facing hurdles at some point during life, just part of it. Yay! (said sarcastically). Life is just “50 Shades of Grey” sometimes! (I’m not sure if that is supposed to be italicized, underlined, or in Quotations :} oh well)
Joanna
http://www.dixiemodish.com
U R entitled to bad days, We all can’t be perfect. As a long time follower, it nice to follow along for the good days and bad. Hang in there.
This is an amazing post! I really enjoyed reading every word and it honestly allowed me to take a deep breath…sigh…and not feel like the only one who wakes up with dark circles! (I too have had a week of getting less than 5 hours of sleep, and sometimes I’m just confused why someone in their 20s with no kids and no pets would wake up with dark circles… what is wrong with me?!) I think it is great you are being so honest and being YOU! I had a moment of realization when I traveled to Europe this summer about my blog and realizing it is much easier to portray me through my blog rather than my blog through me (if that even makes sense…) I have allowed myself to post pictures that I hate of myself because I feel imperfect, but its me and I’m never perfect, so I decided it is best to share these moments.
I’m sure you would have looked amazing in your photos if you had taken them today, but thank you for sharing this moment with your readers! 🙂
Well said and well worth it to honor your authentic self. Nobody is ‘perfect’, nobody even has the same definition of ‘perfect’! I think it’s super cool to remind all of your readers, especially all of your young readers, that being human is so much better than being well dressed every day. Rock on, Miss Kendi 🙂
Kendi thank you for your honesty! Hang in there!
You can come and have a drink with me on my porch anytime. We would be great friends and I’d keep it real for you. Thanks for keeping it real with us. Cheers!
you.are.fabulous !! way to be REAL 🙂
Thank you for being so honest. It’s so easy to when blogging to only show the good times and not show that life is hard. Life is hard, but life is also full of wonderful moments and experiences! Thanks for showing that we can have both is the grey life we live.
Awesome. Hey, you know what? It’s ok to be a mess sometimes. I swear.
Word. Take a breather.
Cheers to being real, being honest, and looking like a hot mess (though I’m sure you look just fine!).
Hooray for you! This post is awesome. The world in general could always use more honesty, especially about what it’s like to live one’s day-to-day life. I can’t wait to hear the story of your store and anything else you want to share. We’re ALL messes sometimes (even oftentimes).
Kendi, this is such a personal, wonderful post. thank you truly, for sharing. I often look at you and wonder how you do it! i’ve been running a business with my husband for 6 years, through a tough recession and some horrendous times (back stabbing partner who left after stealing money from the business and then set up in direct competition just down the road and customers going through and owing us over £60,000 ( approx $100,000) which we then lost). It does not get any easy. However you do learn to cope, you do learn to switch off and you do learn to sleep through it (mostly after complete exhaustion, but hey its sleep and therefore good!) i completely admire you as a business woman for totally going for your goals. Take time out for you, your mind and body will need it! and my best piece of advise for you is don’t stress over things you cant change. BEST WISHES & LOTS OF LUCK!!!!!xxx
we’ve never met, but i am positive we would be the best of friends if we ever do! you are inspiring and brave to share these things on your blog. rest assured that we are all a hot mess sometimes. that’s the beauty of the human spirit. but with that mess always comes some clarity and bouncing back with more enthusiasm and passion than before! take a deep breath and know that everything will be okay 🙂
this post is speaking so much truth about the day I’m having so far. it is totally okay not to be perfect. you gotta embrace the good and the bad and the kind of weird. that’s just life!
Good. For. You. I always find reality much more refreshing than “squeaky clean”. I’ve been a reader of yours for a few years now and always enjoy your looks. Getting to hear more about you is a much bigger draw, in my opinion. Being real is where it’s at. Cheers to letting go of “perfect” you’re pretty kick butt just the way you are lady! 😉
I love this. It speaks so many truths and I’m happy to see all that I am feeling in such nicely articulated words 🙂 I look forward to reading more honest Kendi posts! And most of all, I applaud you for taking such a huge risk in fulfilling your dreams this year. You truly are an inspiration Kendi!
Thank you for this. I don’t know why we feel this pressure on blogs… but we should all “pause” from time to time and just be ourselves – messed up hair, pajama bottoms, cold in our eyes (well, maybe without the cold in our eyes). Kudos, dear!
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steve Furtick
It is nice to hear that you have a behind the scenes like everyone else. Showing your imperfection only makes us love you more. It makes you real. It makes you one of us.
Thanks!
Great post Kendi and great message!
Kendi,
I read your blog every. single. day. It’s the only “style” blog I read religiously – because it’s not just about what you’re wearing … you tell stories, and you make me smile with the way you write and especially with your sarcasm. Yes – you look freaking fabulous all the time – but there are plenty of pretty girls on the internet. It’s your perspective that sets you apart. and I have a feeling that if you share even more of that, we’ll love you even more too.
Ahhh! Reading this at this exact moment was such fate! I didnt post a blog post today either (wait… not ‘either’ obviously–but you get the idea) and for the first time in over a year I was okay with it. But then I started to feel bad for being okay with it… Like… was this going to be a habit? Am I letting myself down? My readers down? Am I a slacker? But truth be told I was just tired and I chose sleep for once–sorry. Good to know it’s okay now and then and Im not alone 😉
Here, here! Three cheers for honestly, and the real Kendi! 🙂 Just keep being you, thats when readers will truly be loyal… when you are YOU and we love you for it! 🙂
OMG I have so much to say on this topic. Thank you for your bravery and honesty today on the blog. I am about to run out the door to have dinner with some friends but when I get back, I would love to share my life lesson that is similar to what you have posted! Hang in there!!
A.M.E.N.
mylettchronicals
Your post gave me goosebumps – seriously. I love your honesty. I bet you look fabulous anyway though, sleep or no sleep. http://www.wittywhitney.com
Brava, Kendi! We’re happy to be here with you. Thank you for sharing your honesty and humor.
Welcome to the scrub club! The black maxi dress sounds cute and I admire your bravery.
Love this Kendi. I’ve been rather woeful about some things going on with me, but I don’t dare let people see it. You’re right. It’s ok if they do sometimes. Keep your head up.
yes, girl! thank you! you always look amazing and honestly for a lot of the rest of us, it seems so incredibly NOT do-able. i cannot image looking that good day in and day out. thank you for being real! real is much better than trying so hard for perfect — your readers love you either way!
Kendi – I have been following your blog for a while now, and while I enjoy it (obviously, since I follow it) I have to say that this turn today really makes me like it more. I like the honesty, and tone to everything you’re saying! And to be honest, I would like to see more of you like this!
Well said! Not only do I love your outfits, but I appreciate your honesty and quirkiness. In “real” life, we would be friends for sure. Keep your head up girl, and if all else fails, put on a cute outfit!
What a beautiful and inspiring post, Kendi! Thank you so much for sharing it. As wonderful as life can be and as perfect as we all try to look on the outside, sometimes life just “kicks your cutely dressed ass”. I’ll never forget that.
Hope your day picks up 🙂
xoxo
Melisa
http://mylittlesliceoflife.blogspot.com/
Good for you! Everyone needs a day off and people should know that even a bloggers life isn’t perfect all the time. 🙂 Hope you get some more sleep soon!
With the current debate about “having it all,” your post is very timely. I would love to see more posts like this on other blogs – not everyone is perfect, nor should anyone try to be! Thanks for keeping it real.
Kendi, as a long time follower of your blog, this is the first time I’ve commented.
What a lovely post. It surely hits home today.
I send you a big hug Kendi! And I undestand all that you said, it happened to me too. Big hugs and a lot of positive energy from Chile 🙂
Amen Sista!!!!! I have my own PR business too and it’s a ton of work, and totally exhausting!!! Cheers to being real……and you are a rockstar!!!
http://www.cathykhayes.blogspot.com
Love posts like this! Gives us girls who don’t look crazy fabulous every single day a reason to feel a little bit better 😉 I want to start my own business someday too and would love to hear more about your experience with it. I know it’s going to be so hard, but so worth it. Keep rocking it girl!
Thank you for this post! Sometimes we get caught up looking at fashion blogs where the person tries to make their life seem perfect, but it doesn’t necessarily make them likable. I like knowing the person is a REAL person. Knowing that you stress over trying to be perfect (just like everyone else) makes me like your blog more!
hi kendi 🙂 i have never commented before, but that doesn’t mean i haven’t been a long-time fan of you and your blog. your post today just made me even more of a fan, if that’s possible. it brought tears to my eyes. lately life has been kicking my “cutely dressed ass” (well, lately only cutely dressed when i’m taking blog photos) and your words were just what i needed to read at this moment. i love your honesty and i know others do too. i hope we can meet someday, and in the meantime be long-distance blogger friends. xoxo! natalie (sequinedsilverlining.com)
love you, your posts, your outfits (you’ve inspired me to try so many new things!), and your honesty! I’ll take happy, sad, stressed, sassy, sappy, funny, etc., Kendi. You’re a really fun blog to follow and keep up with and I just hope you do it as long as it keeps you happy and not because you think you “have to” keep doing it 🙂 xx
nothing wrong in hitting the reset button once & awhile. i need to do the same. i’m tired.
I definitaly have been blogging as long as you have and I definitely don’t run my own business, but I completely understand what you mean about feeling like you have to look perfect all the time. I do a fashion blog after being inspired by you and many others and it’s hard on the days I don’t feel like being put together but I do it for the blog. So thanks for this post needed to hear this badly.
I don’t ever comment, except maybe when there is an awesome giveaway…then I comment just because I want to win. Aside from that I lurk and admire your cute outfits and envy how put together you look. I had to comment today because I admire your truth and honesty. I am a perfectionist myself and often put on a happy face even when I feel like a mess inside- even in front of those who love me most… I want to thank you for this post & for your wisdom to realize that we don’t need to be perfect and we don’t need to mask how we are really feeling. Every now an then its ok to be overwhelmed, frustrated, or just tired.
Thank you.
I’m glad you posted this. I sometimes feel like I’m pulling myself in so many directions and I hold all my emotions inside thinking that it’s not okay to show weakness because I compare myself to people like… well, you. This shows you’re human and that a bit of exhaustion and the feeling of being stretched too thin is fine. This was an honest post and therefore so much more real and more Kendi. I like that. Have a great rest of the day Kendi! You have all of us + B as support and we’re so proud of you 🙂
http://www.chevronsandeclairs.com
–S.
I send you hugs and wishes for more sleep
the reason i read kendi everyday is not because of the outfits (although you do always look pretty perfect) :), it’s because of your voice. you’re witty and a little sarcastic and i like that. i like to hear people’s stories, i like to hear about the ups and the downs. i think there’s something to be said for positivity, but i also think there’s value in not always glossing over the harder times. i don’t think that being optimistic should mean pretending nothing bad ever happens, but (unfortunately) i think that’s the way many people define it. so thanks for being real. 🙂
Thank you for this post, it hit very close to home today. Also, I love your outfit posts, but more than that I love your commentary, so not having an outfit today didnt bother me in the least!
we all go through one of those days.. Its perfectly ok!
Kendi, I love how you have created this positive, and frankly, beautiful place on the internet. I’m inspired by you for many reasons (outfits being the most obvious, but also your playful and self-depricating nature). This post in no ways detracts from that positive place, in fact, I think it adds more to it. I can’t wait for the day when you have caught your breath, and maybe caught up on some sleep, and are ready to share your story of this year and starting your own business. I’m so impressed by you, and I support you one million percent. I support you even if you’re not perfect, or looking squeaky clean, or anything, but just because you’re you! And you’re doing something out there for yourself, and for others, and that brings happiness and joy into the world. Cheers to you, woman, and to the many successes that will come your way. 🙂
Preach it, gurl.
And while we’re all being honest, I just want to say that I love your blog for you and not your clothes! Your outfits are awesome but your personality is awesomer.
I love this 🙂 I love the outfit posts too but its nice to see the woman behind the clothes if you know what I mean. I am also a business owner and rarely have my crap together and with 2 little kids NEVER sleep through the night. 🙂
you’re a delight, pretty outfit pictures or not.
Kendi,
I have been a fan for a long time. This year has also been the hardest year of my life (at 26), I know what it’s like to pour your heart and soul into your work, and your passion, and to pretty much never get a full night’s sleep or even be able to relax on a vacation. I try to dress really cute for work every day too. On the weekends I think my boyfriend is relieved to see me in plain tee and wearing my glasses instead of contacts. But I haven’t wanted to try much this week either, perhaps mid-year blues? Thank you for being honest though, because we’re all human and at certain points we just don’t have the energy to try to impress other people, however, little do we know that in these moments we impress others the most, like you did in your post today.
-Kiki
Perfect is so boring and overrated. Which my deaer, you are neither. Life most people have said, your outfits are amazing, but I read for what you have to say. You are incredibly funny and your sarcasm makes me think we could be friends. Personally I prefer the idea of reading a friend’s blog compared to some perfect stranger. You inspired me to start my own blog, dress better, and do the things that make me happy. So bravo Miss Kendi!
Awe, this is such a nice post Kendi! I love how real you are and life is exhausting! I push myself to the limits while trying to raise my son at home and work on my own Jewelry Business. Too much to do with too little time is what I like to call it and somedays are rough! I like to do my blogs because I seriously like to escape reality and focus a little bit on myself sometimes and what makes me happy. I get it and if I did an outfit post everyday, I would run myself thin. I always find that it’s best to not push yourself in areas where you just don’t have the time. Even taking a break from blogging everyday could make a difference for you some weeks! We would all understand and admire that. Hope you feel better tomorrow! xx, Pip
http://easyoutfitsbypip.blogspot.com
perfect in your imprefections…. I love this post. Love the honesty!! I love hearing that no one else has it all together either. And, I am TIRED, too!
http://www.highheelstosneakers.com
I was just having this conversation at lunch with a very stylish friend that we wish style blogs were true representations of what people wear, I mean really wear everyday. Personal style is not dress up everyday it is a point of view and sometimes wearing the same skirt once a week. You got it girl, don’t be afraid to show it!
This post came on the perfect day for me personally. Today is the first day I’ve ever just thrown my hair in a pony tail without fussing over it for an hour. And, I’m okay with that! I had a great night out with friends last night and I decided that was more important then making myself “perfect” today. Hugs!
Transparency is refreshing and real. I feel lighter just reading this post and knowing I don’t have to be squeaky. So thanks for that.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed a remind myself today, and it couldn’t have been better timed. Keep your pretty little head up 🙂
“Maybe we can be friends and tell each other it’s okay to be a mess sometimes.:
It is TOTALLY okay to be a mess sometimes, my friend!
Hi Kendi,
First time poster, long time reader here. I agree with a lot of the above posters. I love reading your blog because I actually see a personality in your posts and that’s what makes it readable (as opposed to other bloggers who seem like they’re always keeping up appearances). While you may think that your life is coming off as squeaky clean, your personality and wittiness come through instead which I think is MUCH, much better. You can power through this and seem to have already accomplished so much!
Kendi– this is SUCH a refreshing post. No one expects perfection from you! As a matter of fact, I always wondered how you always manage to look so flawless yet at my time of best effort I fall flat. Good to know that you have off days and dark circles too. The best advice I’ve ever gotten is “you do you!” That’s exactly what you need to do, girl! YOU DO YOU!
This is my favorite post of yours. Bravo for the honesty that exhaustion brings.
It’s totally ok to be a mess, in fact, I expect you to be a mess sometimes – otherwise you’d be some sort of supernatural creature! 🙂
Best post ever! You’re beautiful, smart, witty & charming and now, you’re human too! Rock on!!!
It’s ok to be a mess sometimes.
oh my dear kandi i so understand u! u r having one of those days when staying in the bed is the best option. make a break. than make deep breath and start all over again!
xx
Thank you for your openness and honesty in this post. One of my favorite things about your blog is how real and easy to relate to you are. This post is beautiful and brave, as are you.
What a beautiful place to be. As a style blogger and business owners who takes photos of her outfits several times a week, I find myself lacking the energy at the end of the day to post photos when I can do more meaningful things and so my posts suffer in exchange for better well-being and sanity. It’s a trade-off, and sometimes it’s exactly what you need. Thanks for showing up so authentically today, Kendie! It’s inspiring to see that the best of us need a break sometimes.
Sarah
It’s so refreshing to read this from a blogger at your level. I’ve become increasingly disillusioned and jaded by blogs (even though I love them). I just keep wishing someone will write something real. Or admit that they don’t always walk around in expensive outfits sipping lattes and being just generally fabulous. Life just isn’t that way and admitting this only makes you more relate-able and makes your blog more relevant. Bravo.
this is the best post you’ve ever written.
you may find this offensive, but really, take it as a massive compliment because your other blog posts are great too. this one just tops the cake.
you are perfect to me:)
This is amazing and so inspiring. It reminds me that it’s okay to make a mess and lay in it sometimes. Thank you.
-Amy
http://theblankpagesblog.blogspot.com/
I’m also a long time reader, first time poster. I come here because you’re believable. Your outfits have personality, you shop at target and old navy, and sometimes you get yourself nice things. You do your best and you do it all with a bit of (often self-deprecating) humor and hope and a smile. I can relate to that. And you couldn’t have been more relatable at a better time. This year has been hard. Good, but hard. And I’ve taken hit after hit and I’m just tired. I almost didn’t make it today. My only deadline was getting out of bed and I couldn’t do it. But I’m here. Wet, unbrushed hair, dark-circle eyes, tank top, jeans and toms. It doesn’t look good but I made it too. And this is what I found when I finally pulled myself up. I found out that we made it. Thank you.
Fantastic. Thanks for keeping it real around here, Kendi. I have to say, along with many others here, that you really are inspiring. Keep your head up and know that all us here are rooting for you!
Where’s the “like” button!? Just so you know…I like messy people more than perfect people. I also love your shop! My sister lives in McKinney, and we visited last time I was in town. Anytime you feel down and out just stand in from of Bloom and repeat after me “I’ve done good!”
Kendi, I love this post! I have been following you for some time now, and I love your honesty. You are a relatable blogger. You are inspiring by just being yourself, which is why your blog is so popular. Your readers love that you are you, and that you are not perfect, because lets face it, no one is. I am so happy to call you one of my “blogger friends.” Thanks for being real. And if it makes you feel any better, I am a mess most days too. It happens.
here here!
messy is often times more beautiful than perfect, I say. messy is real. messy in *interesting*. and life is certainly messy more often than not. it seems that you may need some hugs, so I send some your way.
I applaud your bravery in writing this post. 🙂 None of us are perfect. We are all a bit messy. You are a lovely person regardless.
THANK YOU! Thank you for being real. This should be the first post people read whenever they visit this website for the first time.
I don’t see it as being a mess. You’re life is interesting and exciting. Yea, there are tough times but when you look back at these times you will have so many stories and memories. I mean, people who have it together just seem boring. Am I right?? Ha! Keep your head of Kendi! You rock!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! Well done and bravo. Even more reasons to visit your lovely site.
Thank you SO much for this post! I love the honesty and the fact that you don’t pretend like your life is perfect in every way. It’s hard for me to relate to other blogs where it seems like the blogger is trying to sell me on how amazingly perfect she and her life are. It SEEMS fake and unfortunately, eventually we end up realizing it IS fake. Readers don’t like to feel like they are constantly being lied to. It’s true that you don’t often share too much info about your personal life/struggles, but at the same time, you never paint the picture of “look at me and how amazing and perfect my life is”. I appreciate that! Take a little break and come back a little refreshed and hopefully with no under eye circles!
Oh also, you can always try wearing cute shades! Makes taking pictures MUCH easier and faster and no need to worry about dark circles or smeared (or lack of) mascara!
That’s just what I needed today, so thanks. I also own a business. Also called Bloom (!). And it’s been really hard lately. Lots of exiting changes and new directions and learning of new things which is exciting…..and also terrifying. I get it. I always wonder how people (like you!) make business so successful so easily. But I guess that never really the reality is it? We all work hard. We all have tough days. And, for true entrepreneurs, it’s always worth it:) I’d love to hear more of your start up story!
Jill
Kendi, I love this post. Just wanted to let you know that. I think everyone will agree that it is so ok to not look perfect all the time and not FEEL perfect all the time. Buh bye well-scrubbed life!
here here! can’t wait to hear what else you have to say…:)
i so look forward to hearing your story, kendi. bravo for writing this post!
I’m sitting in a skirt that does not make me look that great eating yogurt with rainbow sprinkles, which, of course, makes me super happy! So, forget the skirt! And forget your outfit pictures today! I enjoyed your post anyway and thank you for keeping it real. Especially, because now I don’t feel so bad about looking like I do and eating what I love 🙂
Blogs tend to be a place where it’s easier to try to show only our most polished selves, creating a somewhat unrealistic picture of what some of the most important parts of life are all about – struggle and confusion and working through tough stuff. I’d rather read a blog that’s down-to-earth and not scrubbed clean (I agree with other commenters that your great, self-deprecating sense of humor is something that makes your posts unique and fun to read) because that doesn’t mean you’re less perfect. You’re just (refreshingly) HONEST. Thanks for sharing, Kendi!
Bravo, Kendi. I have been feeling exactly the same way. Time to stop putting on the show. That doesn’t mean I’m want to be ratty and negative all the time or wallow in my non-perfectness (I just made that word up, I think). But it’s time to be real and let the chips fall where they will. Image management be damned! As you can see from the comments, we love you more for sharing with us. 🙂
You’re just so absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. Thank you for sharing. Rooting for you, pretty lady!
i completely understand you about feeling not all together. i have been trying to figure this out for the past few months. my sweet little baby brought some major life changes, which are wonderful and i love her and i love life, but i am realizing more and more that life is not always pretty. thanks for your honesty and for having the courage to say what many of us feel.
and i’m tired of people trying to look perfect all the time. we all have a story and we all go through life being happy, sad, mad, angry, optimistic, etc. at various stages in our lives. no need to pretend that everything is perfect, because that does not exist. thank you for sharing and for the openness!
This was exactly what I need to read today. Thank you so much for your honestly!
Like many others, I read your blog everyday but don’t comment too often. I think you are fabulous–and not only because of your clothes. I love your honesty, humor, and beauty (inside and out, sister!). Sometimes I say it is so super hard to be a grown-up and struggle through worry and the unknown, so I really appreciate this post. You are amazing! This is just what I needed to read today.
This is awesome! It’s so refreshing to hear this coming from someone who is so beautifully put- together. These are the blog posts that I like the most because it shows that you are human. 🙂 There are days that I feel and look great and then there are others where I want to crawl under a rock and hibernate for a kagillion years haha.
From one mess to another, thanks for the post:)
Shandrea
Good for you, Kendi! Sticking up for yourself is to stay true to who you are and the give yourself à break in life…
Thanks, I really appreciated your honesty here. I’m a third year med student, and I have $100k in debt, I work 100 plus hrs per week, and I basically pay to get shat on by pretty much everyone else in the hospital. Most days, I’m happy and if not put together, at least optimistic because I love being in the hospital and I love taking care of patients. But some days, I just want to cry when I get home.
So happy to hear you are HUMAN! 🙂 We all have those days and I too try to hide all the blemishes and imperfections but at some point it just makes everything even harder. Would love to read about your experiences opening Bloom and anything else you want to share.
Here here to all the human women out there getting it done!
Amen, sister, amen. <3
Oh…Thank…God. I would not like you near as much if I thought you never had an off day/week/month.
Enjoy.
You’re outfits are super cute but I’ll be honest, I always scroll past them to see what you have to say first. I’m excited to hear more. Truth!
I love this post for so many reasons. First of all, even though we’ve never met & probably never will I totally love you. For your outfits & your sense of humor on the ole blog here. I’m sure everyone says this, but I really think we’d be bff’s if we met.
That said, I’ve always been a little perplexed by your all-the-time togetherness. It DOES seem like you’re perfect all the time & I’ve often wondered how you do it. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to hear you say you’re exhausted! It seems like you’re always pretty honest in your posts but this is very real & I thank you for sharing it with all 15,000 of us.
Hang in there. I can’t wait to hear more about the unperfect Kendi :o)
Bravo to you. As a blogger it’s hard to let people see that your life isn’t perfect — I stop reading blogs that can’t get past that. You’re one of my favorites that I read daily, so obviously you’re doing a great job. I can’t wait to hear more details about starting your business and what life is really like as a small-business owner. Thanks for being willing to share! xoxo
Don’t feel afraid to take a break! Life can be hectic…I can definitely relate. Even though I wanted to build my blog audience, I knew that I couldn’t post everyday or every week because of my work schedule. When I didn’t post for a week and then the next week, I initially felt guilty…but in the end, I didn’t feel as stressed. One less thing to worry about. I still love to update my blog, but I realize that sometimes, it has to take a backseat to the other things going on in my life.
I admire you for managing to post just about everyday and still look wonderful in the process despite your busy schedule! And also for posting regularly for so long! I hope you can still do the work that you need to do (I’m so happy that you’ve started your own business—that’s an impressive accomplishment), but post when it feels right. Hang in there, Kendi! 🙂
That was truly one of the most beautiful and honest blog post I may have every read. Thank you for being transparent because we defiantly all feel this way some days and we all need a break from our fake little worlds on our blog page. Thank you for reminding me that just because something is hard does not mean its bad. Very wise word. Thank you so much for sharing.
Hi Kendi,
I’ve been following your fashion style for some time now, but this is my first time making a comment. And it’s this post that’s called me to action. Bravo, hugs and kisses (I know, weird from a stranger, but I just have to pass on the sentiment).
I too struggle with many of those same feelings. I too used to think perfection was the only way but am discovering, little by little, that nothing in life is perfect. Rather we are all so perfectly imperfect. Life really is quite messy!
I have my little life mottos too “hard doesn’t mean no”, “brave is truth”.
You probably don’t realise how much of a help and inspiration you are. So this post is also to give you a little love. You very much look like you’re walking on the right path… keep going.
Wishing you all the very best. Looking forward to hearing about the next piece of the puzzle… and seeing the next gorgeous outfit too.
Sent with love, Annie (little&ever).
Amen sista! Thanks for being brave enough to say what we are ALL thinking 🙂
XOwww.pearlsandpaws.blogspot.com
Wow, Kendi. Rarely do I post comments (never on here) but I absolutely loved this post. I have noticed since you’ve opened your shop, yours posts don’t have the usual pizzaz you had a year and a half ago. I could tell you were stressed and it’s so refreshing to hear it straight from you. I will always be a follower of your blog; not because of your perfect life, outfits, or optimism. I’ll always follow your blog because I feel like we could be friends in real life (and I just can’t be friends with peppy, optimists…).
I appreciate your post so much because I often feel the same way: even though it seems hard, and you want to be pissed, tired, etc. tomorrow will be another day, with new stresses and successes and then in a year you’ll be able to look back as a stronger person.
Kendi, I hope things get easier and you get most rest as time goes on.
It’s bound to be incredibly hard starting a business – I can’t even imagine! And it’s more than okay to let that show, it’s your blog and you can show as much or as little of your life as you desire. Your readers will support you either way 🙂
AwayFromTheBlue.blogspot.com.au
It’s too much pressure to be perfect ! Not being perfect all the time doesn’t mean you can’t be amazing all the time ! Love the honesty !
My Blog – A Pretty Nest
You can’t be perfect all of the time. But you can be you all of the time. And that is perfect in itself.
http://bisous.typepad.com/bisous/
Hey Kendi, I just wanted to say I think you’re amazing. I have always admired you for your ability to juggle so many things at the same time. I have enough of a hard time keeping up with my blog alone and I always was in awe of how you could manage a store front, blog daily, and also work on collaborations on the side. I would love to hear about your adventures on starting your own shop and opening a store front. It’s so nice to get this perspective from you from time to time. I still think you’re like the modern day superwoman, despite needing to take a breather every now and then. 🙂
People would never be able to bask in their accomplishments without taking time to sit back, relax, and look at how far they’ve come and really think about all the hurdles they’ve had to overcome to get where they are today.
So proud of you, Kendi!! You’re still perfect!
Thanks for being so real and sharing a part of your life with all of us that isn’t “perfect” .. I’m sure you’ve had your ups and downs but I’ve been a follower of yours for 2+ years now and I am amazed with what you have done for yourself. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy but you are very inspirational!
Take a day for yourself.. we’ll live with some Instagram pics of your outfit/life for a day or two! haha 🙂
Long time follower through GReader, first time poster. Your outfits are cute and your sense of humor is awesome. I always read everything you blog because it’s always entertaining. You have done so much this past year! You should take a break! And make sure you regularly take some time for yourself to prevent burnout!
Love the post. Thanks for being honest.
It is definitely okay to be a mess sometimes. When life is hard…there is going to be a positive around the corner. At 37, (this past January) I decided to sell my condo downtown Austin, quit my PR job and move in with my parents an hour and a 1/2 away from civilization in the country. I had to do it for sanity and to figure out who I was again. It isn’t easy and I miss some things (like Starbucks and Target haha)…it is really hard…but I am learning what I love again. Like Scarlett O’Hara said…after all, tomorrow is another day. Embracing these moments is a great thing. 🙂
Awww Kendi, I dont comment very often because there’s only so many times that you can say “omg you’re so cute, that outfit is adorable”… Your readers love your blog not just for the outfits, because there are, well, millions of other style blogs to do that. You make the style and the outfits seem accessible to the rest of us who do have lives outside of fashion too. And you seem like a friend, albeit a friend I have never met. So to my friend, I’d like to say, you don’t have to be perfect everyday, it’s okay. We love you and you rock, no matter how messy your bun and your life are. I am in the process of starting my own business, er not a cute clothes’ store, but I would love to hear your story. Thanks for being you.
“I’ve always wanted Kendi Everyday to be a positive place — probably
because deep in my heart I want so desperately to be an optimist, which I
am not”
i love this line. probably because i think so much of how i live my life is because part of me so desperately wants to be an optimist, which i am not. thanks for putting it so perfectly.
and, hello to messy. 🙂
Thanks for honesty, Kendi. I, too, am going through the same struggle of making it appear like my life is together when it isn’t – except I focus on real life and not just blog world! Can you say ‘exhausting’?! Here’s to honesty and things being beautiful even when they aren’t pretty.
http://peacelovejen.blogspot.com/
Kendi! This post is awesome. I’d love to read more about the not-so-well-scrubbed Kendi. Know why? Because *none* of us are well-scrubbed in real life. Thanks for keeping it real today. Keep ’em coming!
I love this post. Going through life with grace and great shoes is perfection: exhausted days, dark circles under the eyes days, happy days and fantastically perfect days. If you've got grace and great shoes, the rest is just optional details. And I'd say you have both in spades, even today 🙂
aw, sugar. i hope you sleep well tonight. you have my permission to wear the t-shirt you sleep in to work tomorrow.
it’s a difficult thing about having a blog, because of course you always want it to show the best things, and only the best things. but life is not made up of only the best things… anyways. you have my blessing to always be yourself, whatever form that takes. not that you needed it, cuz you totally don’t. but in case you wanted it.
Hi Kendi! i absolutely love your blog, it is always the first one i click on when I am able to read! I am 33 and a mom of 4, and absolutely love your light-heartedness, and I am now commenting for the first time on this post because I love your honesty- you DONT need to be perfect all the damn time, you are so right. I think this post offers a lot of freedom not only to you, but I bet to a lot of your readers as well.
Kendi you are awesome and I love your blog. I’ve been reading your posts every day for like, I don’t know, since 2009? And I am so happy for you. I turn 27 next month, and I am so happy you are living out your passion, because you are every day inspiring me to live out mine. And it doesn’t even have to do with fashion. How does that work? But I must say, for a person who’s never been into fashion AT ALL, you make me look forward to getting dressed in the morning.
No, you’re not perfect, but that is what keeps me coming back.
xo
I’m SO GLAD for this post. Yes, I love (read: LoOOOoOoOVE) your outfits, but I’ve totally been wanting to see the reality behind those outfits. Personally, I want to see the “messy” Kendi whenever she’s around, if that’s what’s real and honest. I’ll take an honesty over well-dressed any day. Or both, seeing as how they don’t have to be mutually exclusive. 🙂 And I really hope you write about what it was like when you started Bloom. Cheers to you getting to be YOU, well-dressed or a mess, regardless.
Kendi, just want to say (like the 200 + friends before me) that you are loved for your wit and humour as much as for your outfits. Imperfect and real is so much better than the facade, so we love you even more for that.
The world needs more honest bloggers. All this shiny perfection and happy, perfect family pictures and links to the great places they eat are getting on my nerves. Go ahead and post pictures of you with your infants at the grocery store or on an airplane or doing whatever. Tell me all about your awesome vacations I can’t even dream of affording for one person, much less four. I see through it, bloggers. I know you’re not perfect no matter how hard you try.
I’ve always liked you, Kendi, because you keep it real. You might feel like it, but I’ve never felt like you were hiding behind outfit pictures.
I always wondered why you don’t share more lifestyle posts – please keep the real life coming, Kendi! I love both the outfits and the real stuff.
What a great post. I get discouraged a lot about the beautiful, perfect, bloggers that I follow. My life is not squeaky clean, so it can be hard when I compare myself to these beautiful successful women. You are beautiful, and you are successful, but I liked this post because you reminded us that you are also a real person. Someone who’s life is not always together, and for that reason I now find you more identifiable. Im not suggesting you should make this blog a journal, but thank you for sharing your “imperfect” moments as well as the pristine ones. I love your blog, your style is fantastic and I look up to you a lot. Thanks for keepin it real 🙂
Um…AWESOME post. Seriously, awesome. We would probably all be better for seeing a little less squeaky cleanliness of everyone’s lives. It’s so easy to look at someone else and think they have it all figured out perfectly, but then where’s the fun in the journey, right? Looking forward to hearing your story about starting Bloom someday. Cheers to a full night’s rest in your future!
Amen sista! And I’d love to hear your story:)
perpetuitystyle.blogspot.com
Love this post Kendi! It makes me want to read your blog even more! We all struggle and persevere. Most times we look good doing it, but sometimes we just don’t and we don’t care! Luv ya!
Loved this- and agree with every sentiment. Yes, we are a mess and yes, it is okay. Who wants to be perfect anyway?
Cheers, Elizabeth of The Corner Apartment
This is the best post you’ve posted. your real…thats good to know 😉
Love this!! I’m a black or white, happy or sad kind if girl who also seeks perfection and am tired too! Thanks for sharing! I’m really looking forward to hearing your whole story!
Great post-thanks for keeping it real! Retail is hard, I can only imagine the long hours involved in getting your own business off the ground. Love your blog not only because of your amazing ability to pull together great fashion; but your writing voice is relatable and hilarious. Take a break, get some sleep and then please come back! Maybe you should do a “before and after” photo each morning? We all know cute takes effort 🙂
A-freaking-men. All I have to say.
Good on you for this post Kendi! I’ve always liked how straight-up you are on this blog. And I think you can be honest about ‘imperfection’ without being depressing! The above post is testament to that. I would love to read your business story 🙂
I know I’m repeating a lot of people when I say that I love the honesty of this post. It’s nice to know that bloggers we admire aren’t perfect even if it seems like they are on paper (or in this case, the internet!).
~Jessica
You are a young person to learn this lesson so early in life! Congratulations! Perfection is highly overrated and it is a waste of energy to persue it. Replensh yourself and then get back to us, we’ll be waiting for ya!
I like bloggers more when things aren’t allow rainbows and unicorn farts. I have always loved your blog but I’d love it just as much if it wasn’t squeaky clean. Hell, I’d love it more! This is my favourite post ever on your blog, so how’s that for proving that you don’t have to ‘keep it pretty’ all the time x
Unicorn farts made me laugh. Thank you.
amen!
Dear Kendi,
230 people have commented already but I’m not going to read what they’re saying although I’m sure it’s probably similar to what I have to say.
No one expects you to be perfect. In fact, I bet most people don’t even WANT that. I know I don’t! My favorite bloggers are women who are real. Sometimes they have bad days and they talk about it. Sometimes they discuss problems. It makes me love them more when they are vulnerable and share. I know you’re trying to advertise your beautiful store, but your blog and store will not suffer if we see dark circles, wrinkles, and hear about negative stuff. In fact, I usually roll my eyes at blogs that are perfect all the damn time. I’ve unfollowed most of them but kept you because it was obvious you have a brain. I appreciate that.
–Vivienne
Love this friend…. We all have those days and I appreciate and marvel at your honesty. Hope you can get some rest.
I’ve had this post up all day in the background while I work, trying to think of something to write that would be helpful or funny or just something. I’ve got nothing (I don’t do well under pressure).
But I stop by here every day. Not to see how cute you’re dressed or where your clothes are from. But to read your words that are usually quite funny and always clever and well-written. Today didn’t disappoint. Thank you for all your cleverness and humor and imperfections. And thank you for your honesty. It makes me want to come back even more now.
I like Emily Ley’s print: “I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.”
This post was filled with grace.
I’m sure i speak for many when i say i love you and your blog not because of your pretty outfits but because of whats written underneath them – the true to life, hilarious, REALness of YOU.
I think I have this kind of day about every 2 weeks. Amen sister! No need to keep the mess hidden, honesty makes us beautiful!
My favourite post that you have ever written, that I have ever read. Thanks for the honesty.
Thank you, Kendi.
Literally two hours ago my dear mum was telling me it’s okay to be a mess sometimes, too. Not that I’m reveling in the fact that someone else is in this boat, but well… company can be a wonderful, sanity-saving thing.
You’re amazing and I love love love reading your blog and looking at the beautiful photos. I’m a very black and white kind of person too. But I’ve learned that it isn’t very healthy, so I too am trying to find that grey area that will balance me out!
As many have already stated, I really admire your honesty. I think that blogging, specifically fashion blogging, is great! But I also know that it only shows one side of person’s life, and sometimes, it’s easy for readers to think that the person posting has everything together and is doing everything perfectly. I have been following your blog for months and both your outfits and your humor make my day a little bit brighter. Posts like this make me admire you even more!
I love reading your blog – and haven’t ever posted before. Both this post and your longer post (maybe a month ago?) with the Hart of Dixie image (I sincerely thought I was the only 25yr old watching that!) made me really appreciate that this is MORE than a fashion blog. I dream of opening a store or working in retail and getting away from cube life – and your posts are very inspiring. Keep it up and remember no one expects you to be perfect every day. Hard lesson to learn…
Hi Kendi,
I have read your blog for a year or so now and you were actually a bit of the inspiration I needed to start my own. I love your pictures and your posts are always so happy that I started to wonder if you ever really have a bad day, I was thinking maybe I’m the only one. So this post is very refreshing and honest and I love how you are brave enough to say your complete honest opinion to everyone regardless of what they may think. For me personally it makes me feel so much better to let it out instead of always trying to be that bubbly person that everyone wants you to be.
So what I am really trying to say is thank you. Thank you for reminding me and everyone else who reads your blog that its totally ok to have a couple of off days now and then.
http://thewayiwanderlust.blogspot.com.au/
Wonderful post, Kendi. Thanks for being so real on your blog. I appreciate that you choose to share the optimistic and happy moments with us (that’s why we read your blog!), but even more, I think we all appreciate to see the real, not-so-happy moments now and again just to remind us all that you are human and that no one’s blog is a true reflection of their whole lives, just a snippet. And your snippets are great – happy, not happy, I welcome them all. We just like hearing from you. 🙂
Love this! Thank you for being so honest and sharing this with everyone. You have done an amazing thing opening up a store and deserve to be tired. Your blog has always had so much heart and that is why we come back again and again. Thank you for inspiring us! ..even if you are sleep walking while diong i 😉
http://slidingdrawersblog.blogspot.com/
I think the fact that at 27 you’ve finally surrendered to the idea that life is not perfect, and neither are you, is a milestone. Congratulations.
you’re still amazing and wonderful and strong and beautiful. no one can be optimistic and upbeat all the time, life really gets to you sometimes and that stinks but, hey. you’re doing pretty awesome!
I’m lining up to join the hallelujah chorus! It’s so liberating, kicking our good girl in the can. I’m newish here, but I like you already.
your last 2 days you have looked BEYOND perfection…some of my most favorite outfits yet…however, this post of honesty is your most beautiful ever!!! Be free Kendi, we love you messy, neat or falling apart 🙂
Hi Kendi,
I just wanted to say thanks for being fresh and honest. Real life isn’t perfect. No matter how well you style a photo, it is just a moment. I would like to quote from one of my daughters current favourite movies (this changes weekly). “Part of losing all the time, is that you get to learn from your mistakes” (MegaMind, we watch alot of as she likes to call him, the blue guy). But why I like that line is that its true. You learn more from screwing up and adversity than just being perfect. You can be perfect tomorrow.
Preach it. And kudos to you.
Love your outfits, your sarcastic wit, and this post! In a world filled with everything-is-perfect blogs, your honesty is refreshing. Keep keepin’ on, Kendi. Word.
Hi Kendi!
I have been reading you blog for years now and I don’t think I have ever commented, but you really touched me today. For so long I have read your blog and thought “Wow! She is always so put together and perfect. I wish I was more like that!” It is nice to hear you are not perfect. But I do think you have some of the best outfits out there in the blog world and I definitely love your humor/writing. You are keeping it real and I really appreciate it! Chin up!
We’re comin’ out of the woodworks, aren’t we?
Never commented, but wanted to say this post was so extra sweet and honest that I wanted to say thanks. Despite the fact that you DO seem to have life down perfectly, you’ve never been one of those bloggers who tried to appear smug about it. You’ve always had a great spirit. Thanks for your openness. I would love to hear more about your store and your triumphs and struggles therein. Carry on, beauty!
I can see where posting about your life starts to translate into displaying your life and portraying your life as positively as possible and all the pressure that would accompany that… But breathe easy in that, of course, no one is perfect. And no one’s expecting you to be. Just let it all hang out sista! 🙂 I have been constantly battling my perfectionist-ic tendencies practically my whole life. And let me just say, embracing being imperfect is liberating. (Yet challenging.) {*shrug*}
hi kendi! thanks for being soo real with us today!! i agree that sometimes i fall in to the trap of posting outfit pics and making my life seem perfect. but it really isn’t, no ones is. it’s nice to hear the real side from people and i can’t wait to hear your story of how you started a shop!! you really are an inspiration to so many of us!!
Love this post and we all love you whether you look perfect or not!
val
The Daily
Distraction
I loved reading this. I absolutely love your style posts, but you should do more of these too =)
– Sarah
agirlintransit.blogspot.com
I love this post. I can definitely resinate with you on so many levels. I look forward to reading about your adventures with your shop, the good and the “bad”. It’s the hard times that makes us the people we are, and you are definitely an inspiration!
Love the honesty…I’ve been pulling quadruple time this month, (regular work, HEAVY overtime work, school 8+ hours a week, and I have to move by the end of the month), so not only can I sympathize, I can EMPATHIZE, right down to slouchy jeans and loose peasant top with gladiator sandals and undone hair. In other words, I’m sending you a virtual hug and an invite for strong coffee if you ever get five minutes to yourself. Thank you for powering through…I look forward to this blog every time it pops up. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Kendi. I read many blogs on a day to day basis, but yours is the one I look forward to visiting the most. You are beautiful, smart, strong; and most of all relatable.
We’re all rooting for you (and Bloom!).
This was fantastic, thank you.
I love how real you are. I don’t think I could take anyone serious if they didn’t admit that life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. I admire you for your hard work!!!!
Kendi- I really appreciate your honesty. Sometimes I think I’m one of the few “negative nellies” out there, but its easy to forget that everyone has times in their life that are more difficult than others, especially when taking a chance to live your dream. Last year I went back to grad school to become a PA and it has kicked my butt!!! And I go back after a short break next week, so I really want to say thank you!!! Your post has definitely put things back into perspective for me, so thank you! I’m going to star this post in my google reader for later, because I know I’ll need it this semester.
And, this is pretty late, but I came into Bloom in early June and just wanted to say it was great meeting you and seeing your lovely store in person.
Hi Kendi, I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for this post.
Thank you for your honesty, inspiration, and doing this.
Judy
SecondGlimpses.blogspot.com
Hi Kendi, I’ve been managing a small women’s boutique for the last 7 years and I NEVER want to be photographed (and my husband is a photographer, too), so you’re doing just fine. Exceptional even. Now if only I could treat us to that much-needed drink…
Excellent! Well said and perfectly expressed. Even though I’ve been doing this blog thing for only 3 months now, I can totally get what you are saying about having to look perfect & happy all the time…heck, it’s hard IRL (I’m learning the lingo!) since we obviously can all feel we have to keep appearances up at times. Thank you for again being a true inspiration!
All I can say Kendi is that I cried when I read this and wrote a letter to myself. So thank you.
If it helps, I broke down crying after two margaritas this evening. We’re all in this together, yes? I just think you should know, like everyone else has said, you’re freaking amazing.
Kendi, your post moved me so much. I’m 22 and I just graduated college and I’ve been feeling the way you described quite a bit lately. I found your blog about a year and a half ago when I was going through a rough time and it was such a cheery escape for me for a few minutes every day, but it’s so nice to know that you have those times too. I really admire you and so appreciate your humor and honesty. You’ve made bold choices instead of playing it safe and i wish i was more like you.
You’re amazing! Thank you for helping to create an honest and real environment for women everywhere 🙂 You Rock, Kendi
*EXHALE* Thanks, Kendi. You’re about impossible to keep up with. Although I logically know you’re not constantly pretty and “squeaky clean”, it’s easy to forget when surrounded by bright, pretty pictures.
Me? No shower, Day 3. *sigh* Never have children if you value personal hygiene. I imagine starting a business could be a real hygiene hi-jack, too.
Power to you, sister.
Kendi, you’re awesome, and I don’t really know HOW you manage it all the time! But thank you for being honest, and inspiring, and writing a great blog. Rock on! Oh, and I still think you look perfect all the time!
perfectly priya
Thank you for posting this!
As if you could ever not look gorgeous. 🙂
I understand though. Life is hard sometimes. Too hard. And sometimes, it’s just exhausting– and maybe I won’t pick up my phone or respond to emails and watch Three’s Company re-runs for a week kind of way. Ahh, now that would be the life.
Hang in there– and get some sleep. Sleep fixes everything. I promise.
Kendi – as everyone probably has already said – you are human. We all get you. No need to explain!!!! It’s a given! Just. Breathe. Live. On.
Loved it!
Agreed–almost everyone in my life thinks my life is squeaky clean…but for the past year I’ve just felt like I’ve been floundering through life, not sure of my direction. This past year has been great in a lot of ways, but awful in a lot of ways too. I have a hard time being honest with people and letting them know that I’m struggling in certain areas–and I think for women, it’s especially difficult to just say, “hey, you know what? Life is rough sometimes.”
Most beautiful post you’ve written, dark circles, bun hair and all. Good does not mean not hard… dangit. Much love to you and may you sleep well tonight!
Kendi, this is only my second time posting, but I just wanted to say that this was awesome, really. You inspire me with your outfit posts daily and make me laugh with your words, but today I totally respect the woman behind the pretty who was brave enough to share the real. You are so not alone in what you’re going through, sending lots of love and support your way!
OH my goodness. I couldn’t have read this post on a crazier day. I felt the exact same way today as my so-called-life was spinning out of control and I couldn’t remember the last time I did something for “me”…I mean, really. ME. It’s hard to spit out those words in black and white, but I’m that kind of girl and am happy you are too. So, Bravo. To you and Dr. Seuss 🙂 xo
I’ve been struggling too, the last 20 years of my life, being a stay-at-home mom raising two boys, in my country, the phillipines,with an absentee husband working so far away in America.. everyday is a battle, but i fought to stay sane and happy, and discovering your blog a few months ago has help brighten up my days. Your blog and a lot of other blogs has been my source of inspiration to dress up even if i have nowhere to go, i have this inner fashionista in me i guess! By the way, this is my FIRST TIME commenting on the net, am quite excited and nervous to share my thoughts…but your post is beautiful and i can’t help sending you a few words. God bless you.
Oh my goodness! I can imagine what a struggle that is to keep it all together. I’m glad you’ve found a few sites that can help you escape for a few minutes of the day. We all need that sometimes! Best of luck raising two boys — I have a couple of nephews and they are so much fun to watch grow up.
Hey Kendi! Really do get some sleep and all will go well with you… well, hopefully. 🙂 Sending up a prayer for ya tonight! <3
Kendi,
Though your photos and outfits (and husband) are all beautiful, I totally think your amazing whether or not your trying to be perfect, perky, and polished. I love that you are gutsy enough to post how you honestly feel, and I support you and anybody else who is having a tough time.
Lots of love,
Genie
http://www.uniqueandchicstyle.blogspot.com
Wow, I totally meant you’re in the first sentence…both times, lol. 😉
I never comment on blogs. Never. I’m more of a looker, dreamer. But I couldn’t get my fingers on the keys fast enough after reading today because it’s a breath of fresh air to hear your honesty about your job. Often times its easy to assume things about the beautiful, put together images we see on the screen and we need to remember we all have a life! Thanks for sharing your heart.
Thanks for the comment, Robin! It means a lot.
Welcome back, Kendi. I love reading your blog every day and always enjoy your little anecdotes. Today’s really touched me. Outfits are happy – and I think that’s part of the appeal of fashion – the ability to wrap yourself up in a nice little bow that tells the world, “I have it together” even if you really really don’t feel like it (or truthfully don’t). I think we all get sucked into this Pinterest world of “every moment is a perfect moment with perfect macaroons and crafts and outfits” – when life is perfectly imperfect and messy – even if we look great! I don’t know if that made any sense, but keep the truth coming. Your readers can handle it – and love you more for it. And also, I think you need a “me” day – whether that includes getting all of the little stuff done that you’ve been putting off forever or sitting in your sweats on the couch eating pizza and watching Gilmore Girls (you can insert your favorite show here). Much Love, Megan
I have been a Kendi Everyday follower since I discovered the blogging world and this post just made me an even bigger fan. Its so nice to hear the people you look up to have issues just like you and aren’t perfect and don’t have put-together lives all the time. So thank you for your honesty and for providing such honest and great blogging for so long. I hope all of these responses encourage you. And way to be witty and entertaining even when you’re having a real moment on your blog 🙂 That’s what makes you great!
Kristin
http://buttonspockets.blogspot.com
I have never commented, but have followed this little blog of yours for a good few years now, and I just wanted to say that I’m really of you for writing this post. Society often expects us to just put on a happy face and pretend like we have it all together even when we feel like we are falling apart at the seams, and it’s such a relief to just say kibosh to that – no one has to be perfect, and no one should expect themselves or others to be perfect, either. Thank you!
Oops. That was supposed to say ‘I’m really proud of you for writing this post’!
Thank you Brittany!! And thanks for sticking with me through the years 🙂
I concur with all the comments your readers have left for you (well, not all, to be fair there are 289 of them and I don’t have time to read them all…) Megan below has a good point about the pinterest/blog/Tumblr perfect life culture that is seeping into our subconscious – it shouts ‘everyone else’s life is AMAZING, what happened to yours?’. I buy into it on a daily basis flicking through pins, daily outfits, posts from crafty, home bakers, comparing my sunken macaroons to the perky lavender sprinkled ones posted by such and such. It’s escapism and it can be inspiring but it all needs to be taken with a large pinch of reality which is why I think everyone appreciates your post so much. As much as life is something to thankful, happy and positive about, sometimes it’s just shit and difficult and tiring. I think that certainly in the UK and in the States celebrity culture pedals ideals that very few of us can keep up with…who has the time, the money, the energy to pretend to be perfect every day? Imperfections, vulnerabilities and outfit crises are what make a girl worth knowing.
What do you mean you didn’t read all of the comments?! Just kidding.
I agree — I’ve never really thought about this ‘perfect life’ culture but it’s so true. The other day I went through my pinterest food board and I clicked on the foods I’d pinned and actually read the recipe. And then immediately I clicked off the 20 ingredient, 2 hour prep recipe so fast! I would never have time to make those things! But did that stop me from pinning another and thinking that I’ll cook it? Nope. 🙂 Escapism is a good thing, I just can’t let it dictate my real life, ya know?
I’m glad to know that your macaroons did not turn out perfect. That is one thing I’ll never attempt.
So true, you guys! I often feel saddened by my hum-drum, not-so-peppy life when I read blogs and see facebook posts filled with beautiful photos and exciting events. I have to consciously remind myself that it’s all just a fraction of what real life is for most people. So, like everyone else here, Kendi, thank you so much for sharing. I’ve loved all of your posts for your wit and humor, and I love this one as well. I wish more people would be brave enough to be so real.
Hi Kendi…
I love your blog and your outfits, how perfectly put togehter they are… How you have the perfect pictures and perfect lighting, which most of us bloggers can’t afford (don’t have a pgotogropher husband)
Well, today was the best post ever, because none of us have squicky clean lives – we are messy and beautiful the way we are… So I give you props for opening up and being just who you are!
http://happymedley.blogspot.com/
First, I just want to say HALLELUJAH and second, I had a very similar post today. Oh Thursdays.
::imperfection builds character::
Crystal
http://mai-heart.blogspot.com/
I appreciate you for taking this scary first step! And I think what you had to offer today was just perfect.
– Lucy
(perfect in the sense that it is all that is required, not in the glossy, nothing makes me break into a sweat way)
Girl there is nothing bad in beeing honest, I think every reader of your blog can imagine how much work and time I takes to create something so beautyful.
Your oufits are such an inspiration to me.
Take some time off, grab some sleep and enjoy time with your hubby, don’t feel bad about it, you deserve this.
xo Jenny
Thank god, you are human!
Ha! More than I’d like to admit 🙂
Amen! We’re all in this together, and perfect is boring. Thanks for your honesty, we can all relate!
Well said. The older I get the more I realize similar things. My life is not perfect and that’s okay.:) It’s taken me 36 years to relax and enjoy life more…and it’s still a work in progress. You’re AMAZING!! (and damn funny to boot)
-amy
http://www.dreamingincashmere.com
Lovely post! I say to my husband it’s a bit weird when I go online and see all these bloggers with makeup, heels, and the full ensemble on every. single. day. It has to be tiring- hell I do that maybe a couple times a week! So kudos that you’re taking time to yourself. I’m sure all of us (your followers) don’t mind seeing ‘behind the scenes Kendi’ every now and then. 🙂 xx
Rose Eva
Silhouetted
I’m too young as a reader of this blog but your followers could accept you on being you no matter what. Everyday outfit or just a point of view post alone. Good luck and more power!
Thanks for being so open and sharing with us. It is hard trying to look perfect all the time! I don't know why but I find I am always encouraged when I find out someone else doesn't have it all together either. So thanks for being my encouragement today 🙂
We all have good and bad days! I am owning my own, little business as well and it gives me headache almost everyday. But we’re young and brave! It’s ok to be tired, to be nervous or to be angry.
Your blog gives me a lot of inspiration and I love your sense of style. And I am from Poland, so hello – it reached so far! Hugs!
It’s ok. Have a rest, take your time, even a little concealer if needed, and let’s see (you, ande all of us) how many tones of gray life has.
Have a nice weekendi!
We love you the way you are!!!!! This is such an honest post!!! I have a tiny little blog, nothing to compare with yours, but you where one of the reasons I started my blog. I don’t know if you read al your coments (I am coment No 300 by the way, do I gained something???hahaha), but I wanted to say that I understand you 100%! I am a mother of 2 children, working full time, no help from anyone around and always trying to look pretty and great for everyone.(I forgot to tell you that I am 40, so I am having a ”age crisis” as well!!!haha). But the blog makes me feel so alive, and for the minutes the photos last, and for the wonderful comments I receive, it is worth it!
I admire your sense of humour, your inteligence, and the fact that you look like a REAL person.I love to visit other blogs, but I know that not everyone has the life or the looks of Chiara Ferragni(”the blonde salad”…).
Thanks for sharing these deep thoughts with us.and if you read my message, you know that i really admire you & what you do.From tiny little Greece!!! Love, vanda
You go, girl – and we are behind you!
I’ve just had a week of not sleeping, talking badly to myself because I ate too much cake, didn’t go to the gym, tidy the house etc etc. I’ve decided to give myself a break, sit back, watch all the episodes of The Killing that are still on TiVo and let myself feel better.
I have no idea how you manage to create such a beautiful blog and hold a business down too! Just thinking about it exhausts me.
Go get some sleep (dream of new shoes and coloured jeans!) we’ll all be here when you get back!!
Thank you for being you. I enjoy your blog everyday but don’t worry if you miss a day or two…We understand…
Sounds perfectly imperfect. Can’t wait to hear the stories. 🙂
I dong usually comment, but I’ve been a “fan” and “lingerer” (ok…stalker…lol) for awhile now. You are a true beauty & inspiration! I look forward to seeing your blog pop up in my email every. single. day. (or whenever you post…lol). It just brightens my day! I’m 37 and just now learning the art of being true to myself. And your blog has helped me with my journey. You are a true encouragement to so many people!!
Wonderful post Kendi. I understand wanting to document the prettier parts of your life more than the not-so-pretty but it is lovely and refreshing to hear the 'real' parts of your life too.
Hope you get some more sleep over the weekend!
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only girl in North Texas having a meltdown today…
Nope! You can see this girl have a meltdown any ol’ time in downtown McKinney. ha! 🙂
its. ok.
Thank you. 🙂
best post so far! <3
I’m not a business owner but I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 1/2 year old triplets. I put on a good front for people. Everyone thinks I have it together. Surprise! I’m a mess too. And I’m ok with that.
So here’s to being a mess now and then… being perfect half the time… and still getting up each day and rockin’ it out (in my case, that’s in pj’s to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song).
Cheers! 🙂
Cheers!!
I’m sorry did you say triplets?! I’s say PJ’s and MMC is doing pretty darn well. 🙂
I appreciate your honesty. And if your life were perfect and squeaky-clean, you wouldn’t be human. Looking forward to the story of your business.
Thank you for this post Kendi! I can’t tell you how much I enjoy reading about your outfits and silly little things, but I truly appreciate this post. It’s real. You’re real. (Not saying your other posts are fake or anything!) I think it’s by far my favorite. Reading this showed me that you go through the same things we all do. I appreciate this. And you. Thanks again!
Kendi, I’d actually love to hear more about the ups and downs of the business, I’m living vicariously through you there. It’s something I’d love to do myself, but don’t really know where to start and am a little afraid of not knowing what to expect. I love your outfit posts, but your business posts would be a really interesting read.
Totally had one of those days too! This led to a total food blogger #fail
http://careyonlovely.blogspot.com/2012/07/sometimes-i-eat-in-front-of-fridge.html
This post made me smile, because I remembered you’re a real person and not the perfectly fashionable businesswoman that I attribute you to being ;). Don’t forget, you have hundreds of followers here to help you! And if you ever need a hand, just say the word and I’m sure you’ll get overwhelming support. xoxo
Thank you for your honesty, Kendi! Life isn’t perfect, and I don’t think your readers expect you to have it together at all times. I’ve always wondered how you manage to run your own business and stay sane! It is so awesome that you’re bold enough to own your own business AND maintain a fashion blog. You rock.
I love this. Love it. I say, let’s have a drink to being a mess and being real and not being afraid to admit it.
Well said! Life is down right hard and frustrating most of the time. It is isn’t at all the way I planned or dreamed it to be when I was a little girl. To add to it, I am a born pessimist; guilty until proven innocent, the glass is half empty, why does it always rain on me (in my best eeyore voice) type of person. So to be a huge dreamer and a pessimist seems to be an oxymoron and leaves me stumped an awful lot! But I am learning that life isn’t all bad…it is beautiful too. And I am trying to change this pessimistic attitude into one of optimism. Thank you for being honest! It’s nice for all of us to hear that we are not alone!
And I must say, no one expects for you to be perfect, even though it is probably easy to fall into that role since you are on a platform for the world to see. But what is appreciated more than anything is your honesty. People gravitate to someone they can relate too. I love how you wrote that life kicks our cutely dressed asses…SO true!
I’m pretty sure all your readers are going to support this–everybody’s been there. Thanks for admitting you’re mortal. Your comment about gray made me think of “101010” by Sleeping At Last. If you’re in the mood for some mellow music…(https://www.myspace.com/sleepingatlast/music/songs/101010-85102626). Their music improves my mood every time. Hope you get some rest!
Thank you! This morning I was shuffling through my funk looking at the “perfects” in the blog world thinking: what is your problem?!?!! And now…well, I feel less alone so I’m appreciative of your glance into the less scrubbed life. I’m cool being pretty put together 95% of the time but this 5% down is replenishing.
brutal but honest picture of life. To be honest, I’m so in love with your blog, not only your sense of fashion style and your quirky writing but I can see that you’re also a beautiful human being, with all the perfections and imperfections.
So I think a moment of silence is well and truly deserved.
Amen Sister!
((hugs)) Love your honesty. We are all right there with you girl!
This is brilliant, and perfect, because we all are not. Thank you for sharing: I like your quirky and honest personality even more than your outfits.
This is brilliant, and perfect, because we all are not. Thank you for
sharing: I like your quirky and honest personality even more than your
outfits.
This entry resonate so close to my heart because it is precisely what I've been going through past 2 months. I'm just dead tired.
i love that photo of you even if it doesn’t have an outfit. i’m trying to start a side business on photography and already it’s been tough – and i can only imagine how much harder it is to run a brick and mortar boutique like bloom. do tell your story, i’d love to hear every word of it 🙂
Just a quick thought — read The E-Myth: Revisited. It’s a great book on starting up a business. Kind of a long read, but it will come in handy i promise! Best of luck with your business! Small business is where it’s at. 🙂
aww thanks so much for the book recommendation! 🙂
I see you’ve already gotten a lot of love, but I have to say thanks for being open with us. I haven’t posted more than 5 outfits since Rooney was born 4 months ago. I don’t have it all together yet. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. To balance it all. I’ve had to be honest about how I’m barely getting by most days, and honestly my outfit is the last thing I plan, and I get about 30 seconds to do it. When you’re ready, I’d love to hear more about your shop and how you started and the journey!
The thing is, Ms. Williams, is that you probably aren’t just barely getting by. You probably are doing pretty damn good. I’ve never had a baby but I can’t imagine the life change. Which is probably why we’ve never had a baby. We go about life sometimes like it’s no big deal. But it’s a huge deal. Being a momma is a huge deal, being a wife is a huge deal, holding down a job and being good at it, is a huge deal. I think if you talk to new mom’s 5 outfits is pretty darn good. 😉 Hang in there dear! We’ll see those outfits soon, I know it.
Is it possible to give all 300+ comments today a “Like”? So many other people have said the same thing that I’m feeling, that we appreciate that you give of yourself to us without asking for much of anything in return. Your post and some of the comments that I read definitely touched me because there can be no doubt of how hard you are (have to) work to keep the doors at Bloom open, and I respect you so much for doing what it takes.
I’ve listen to Dave Ramsey enough to know that you have to be careful that you don’t buy yourself a job when you buy/open a business, but you took a step out in faith in order to do something that you love.
Take however much time for yourself that you might need, don’t stress about posting an outfit every day, and come back stronger than ever!
I’ve never heard that before (probably because Dave Ramsey scares me like a sunday school teacher). But that’s a great thought — don’t buy yourself a job. That’s probably, exactly what I’ve done but you live, you learn, you find more employees right? 🙂 Thanks for sharing that thought!
Congrats, Kendi. Speaking your truth is pure freedom. Dance in the sky, my dear, dance. Google wabi-sabi, the Japanese concept of perfection in imperfection. It’ll hit the spot. ; )
Dear Kendy,
thank you for sharing a part of you and of course you are right: it´s okay to be a mess sometimes. WIsh you all the best. Cheers!
You’re obviously striking a nerve that most of us feel. You have a business, I have a family. Your business is your child so you understand. It’s hard to nurture and grow your baby and still have time for yourself. I so get where you’re coming from and do appreciate the usually happy, up-beat posts you write. However, it’s good for the rest of us out there to realize that no one has it easy or perfect. Just because your outfits are pretty and happy doesn’t mean that your life or business is without challenges. I don’t usually comment because I read your blog in my reader but I wanted to stop by today to say thanks for all of your posting and your pinning. They inspire me. And so does this post, exposing the raw side of you and the challenges you face daily. They remind me that I am not alone…none of us are.
You know, this past year I’ve equated my small business to having a baby. Besides putting on baby weight (that’s what I’ve called it anyways), the lack of sleep, the worry, the constant thought of what if this happens makes me feel like a newborn mother. So I completely agree with you. Do you find as your child grows that it becomes a little bit easier to handle? I feel like I’m starting to find a bit more balance than in the beginning.
Thanks for coming out of Reader and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts. 🙂
I feel like friendship is only tried and true when imperfections are revealed and accepted 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I will not mourn your well-scrubbed life. You are a hard working, smart, beautiful woman. We all admire your style, but we also admire your honesty. Don’t stress about looking/being prefect. We love your personalty not your perfection. I hope you have a fantastic sleepy day!
work-it-blog.blogspot.com
Great post. 🙂 Sometimes life is rough and messy (I know mine is). Thanks for the real, fun posting that you do. I think that’s why I like your blog so much! Relax and take some time for yourself. 🙂
Love this. It totally inspired my post today.
Thank you for posting this. Many things in my life are currently changing right now and the stress and pressure are enough to make me want to scream and pull out my hair. I am also usually the type person who likes to appear as if they have it together. As you said let’s be friends and we can assure each other that is ok to not be ok sometimes.
You speaking my language — the type of person who likes to appear that she has it together. I think for the most part we probably do, but on the days we don’t wouldn’t it be nice to just look like a hot mess and warn everyone you meet that you don’t have it together? Maybe we should start! 🙂
Thank you for inspiring me every day, but none more-so than today. Your honesty is courageous. Your writing, refreshing. You remind all of us not to take life so seriously and to truly take time for ourselves. There’s so much more to life than cute outfits and being on-trend. Like sanity and relaxation. But mostly sanity.
p.s. I can’t wait to see the story of the shop, when it eventually conquers the white page. Best of luck always!
Thanks so much for your reminder that we’re all human and we all have something we’re struggling with, regardless of what facebook or our blog makes it look like. I too struggle with how vulnerable to be on my my little {and less-read!} blog, so thanks for setting a great example of “It’s OK to not have it all together all of the time.”
Being vulnerable is the worst. I still can’t figure out how to do it gracefully. But we’ll get there. 🙂 Thanks for your kind words!
i look forward to the ‘imperfect girl’s’ posts & stories. 🙂
I liked this post. I like your whole blog of course, but this one hits home 🙂
Honestly I’d love it if you did include some average everyday not quite working outfits because that is real life! Blogs (like books!) are always better when you feel like you really get the know the person as a really real person.
You do get to take breaks now and then you know 🙂 Love your blog and really admire you for starting your own business. I’m hoping to get my own event planning business going and it’s daunting but exciting!
I’m so happy to see you be honest to yourself 🙂 It’s okay not to be perfect. I love seeing bloggers be real. My favorite bloggers are the not-too-polished ones. So don’t feel pressured. <3
Mia
http://www.miamoore.net
I love your blog, and when I say love I mean I have visited it almost every day for the past two years. And I’m pretty sure there is nothing that you could say on here that would make me stop coming (well maybe if you turned into a goth and wore black lipstick, buuut even then I would probably come because your posts are hilarious).And today I liked your “I’m just not that into today” post because hey I’m not that into today either, as im sure a lot of other people arent really into today either. So the pressure for the perfect outfit is off – give the new found freedom a whirl girl!
I am a day late to your post…but I am soooo glad I read it. I could not have read anything better at this very moment. Thank you for sharing ‘you’. I could not be more grateful as I sit here reading your words. Your blog post was the definition of courage.
Kendi, I read your blog daily and regardless of how often you post, or what you post about, im always going to read 🙂 I run a design blog, and often feel the same. Sometimes I dont have time to post or do projects or make my life look perfect all the time. Sometimes it can get very draining, but it is also so rewarding. Your true fans will stick around- and read only if you post once a year. I can honestly say I am one of them 🙂 And thanks for sharing that- it made me feel better about my own blog and I appreciate your honesty 😉 Reading always, Melissa 🙂
Amen to that.
Dear Kendi,Thank you for such an honest and open post. You have every right to be exhausted and overwhelmed with what you’ve accomplished over the last year. Despite the fact that you are feeling imperfect you are such an inspiration to me. Over the last two years I’ve halfheartedly tried to start my own fashion label and toyed with the idea of having my own store, but I’ve never taken the plunge to get either idea off the ground, because I’m too crippled by the fear of the unknown and the potential for failure. Instead I work two jobs which don’t reflect who I am or what I’m good at, and I’m seriously miserable. So I highly commend you for facing some pretty hard and scary stuff head-on, and doing it with a smile and a cute outfit nearly everyday. It’s above and beyond what most people can do.
thanks for sharing kendi! we love the REAL you more anyway! 😉
I tried on a pair of pink pants yesterday.. I think I am going to go back and buy them.
I am also 27, and knowing that you have your own business is inspiring to me.
Inspirational words dont come naturally to me, but just know you are fantastic.
kendi! oh my god….i nodded my way through reading this. i wish we could pop open a bottle of something strong and discuss! i can relate, so so so much. hang in there, my dear! you are doing an amazing job! xoxoxo
ps – target has over the counter sleeping pills that i’ve learned to love 😉
Kendi, I love how you are so honest to us on here. You aren’t afraid to speak your feelings and I think I learn something new about life when I read your posts. It will soon be a year since I started reading your blog. I love your outfits but most of all, I love what you write. Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, you still post. And I respect that you need to take your days off. Keep working at your life’s goals because you will go a long way, And thanks for all the posts this past year. I’ve learned a lot about style(:
Kendi- Thank you so much for sharing your life, both the together and not so together moments. I have often said to my mom (who also reads your blog everyday), I want to be Kendi when I grow up, and it’s not just because you have an impeccable sense of style. It’s because you are a real person who follows their dreams, and does so with a sense of humor at that. You are incredible, so thank you for inspiring this 21 year old to follow my dreams, and look cute while doing it. I’m beyond excited to read about your journey.
Kendi – I own my own business too and I can’t tell you how nice it was to read your thoughts on this post. I have a son who is a year and half and sometimes when I see him throw a tantrum I think “Yeah, that looks nice. I’ll have that.” I wanna flail on the floor and whine! But as a adults we’re taught that that is unacceptable. So, instead we have nervous breakdowns. Kudos to you for airing yourself out and talking about it so you don’t have a nervous breakdown! Now, I just need to do the same. Good inspiration – thanks Kendi.
I also own my own business and everyone thinks it’s all songs and happy dances (freelance graphic designer) but it is stressful and hard. And wonderful and rewarding. It’s a lot of emotions, with sleepless nights because you want to succeed and it all depends on you now, I can’t hide out in my cube anymore… Sure, I can sit around at home for a day, but I don’t get vacation time so I can’t, I need to get clients, work hard, figure out taxes and balancing money and all that accounting stuff I don’t get. So thank you for posting this, I love your blog and can appreciate when things get a little crazy and you are real about it. It’s so rewarding in the end, but I know it definitely takes a toll on you as well.
So appreciate this post. Amen, sista.
Ah. My soul just found a little bit of quiet-solace-space. And self-freedom. Kendi, I hope you are encouraged by all these hundreds of grateful responses of you just being YOU. The world needs more people just being themselves.
Huge thanks to you for sharing your personal stories. You are amazing in every way. You inspire me so much.
so refreshing Kendi. thank you.
I’ve been thinking about starting a blog…for years. Don’t be so hard on yourself. From my standpoint, you are doing an incredible job. Keep it up.
You’re darling even when you’re down. I can relate to many things you said. I’m a driver type person…always thinking I can do it all. That’s great in many ways but not all. I can definitely relate to the lack of sleep lately. I have 2 kids, a new job (which I love but it’s still hard) and am moving into a new house (which I also love but it’s a lot of work getting there.). I’ve had about 4 – 5 hours sleep a night for about 2 weeks straight. All in all, I’m SO thankful and my exhausted self will recover…until my next insane idea comes along. Ha! Keep being yourself.
Kendi, I missed yesterday’s post;( I wish I hadn’t so I could have been more timely with words of ecnouragement. I just want to say that you are such an inspiration to me in so many ways. You do look amazing every time you post, but even more than that. Your authenticity and beautiful heart shine through your blog. This post was so refreshing, and it helped me feel less alone in this very same sort of struggle.
XO, Gina
http://classyeverafter.blogspot.com
Kendi, stay strong. It’s ok to be a mess sometimes. Cheers from Europe!
Dear Kendi. I completely understand how hard it is to run a business. A few years ago when my son was young I decided I didn’t want to go back to the 9-5 I wanted to run my own business. I set up a franchise teaching music and movement to 1-5 year olds. It was a lot of fun and very hard work (particularly getting some of the kids to join in and to overcome my sometimes crippling shyness). Sadly it did not pan out for many reasons but I never regretted the decision to at least try.
This year has been a very hard year for me personally. I lost my beloved Mum to cancer (complete shock, none of us knew she had it, not even her, within a week of finding out she had died at the age of 59). I then lost my beloved cat who was on the verge of celebrating her 18th birthday. Through all that my husband and son have been my rocks, letting me laugh, be me, cry when I need to and to help me feel laughter and love. I am an optimist in spite of this crappy 2012 and I truly believe things will get better.
Oh and I totally get the exhaustion and dark circles! Hugs xxx
wait, so you’re just like the rest of us!? thank goodness! we can be friends, now. 😉
Kendi,
A beautiful, brave post. We don’t care about the fashion, the optimism or the perfection. Just promise never to stop writing. I am a writer, and I can tell you this: you are too good at it to ever stop.
My husband and I run our own kitchen and bathroom renovation company, and I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. As business owners, there are endless demands on our finances, our energy and our time. And the worst part is, there is never enough of any of those things.
However, it does give us great inspiration when we focus on all the things we’re doing right. We’re creating jobs in a bad economy. We’re providing essential services to people who need them. We’re operating our business with integrity and being the kind of people we think God wants us to be … and somehow, that’s enough.
I hope this passes quickly. Have a lovely, restful weekend.
Dear Kendi,
I don’t really know you (except for that one time me and my friend acted like giggly little girls over meeting you in your store) but I want to thank you so much for your honestly. It gives the rest of us hope that maybe we aren’t crazy. Maybe we aren’t doing it wrong. Life is hard sometimes and its ok to admit it.
Anyways , I will stop babbling but just know that you aren’t alone. And you look great in colored denim. So basically, you’re set.
Kendi, thank you for letting us know you are human! I really enjoy reading your blog, and I sometimes feel overwhelmed at thinking about how you do it all. It makes me feel like I don’t do enough and need to work harder to DO MORE! and BE MORE! I’ve never posted on a blog before, but I just wanted to let you know that your post meant a lot and that I was feeling for you and thinking of you yesterday. It will get better! xx
This is how I’ve felt starting a blog with a daily outfit post. It is hard sometimes to keep up with it, go to work, and still have a life. It makes me feel better that someone else feels the same, but it is better, I’ve felt, to not post if I’m not feeling it. Sometimes quality is better over quantity. Thank you for pointing out we don’t always have to be perfect=]
Pandy
http://whattowearwithpandy.blogspot.com/
Kendi, I’m the mom age mom that you gave great advice to about dressing cute for my middle age life I find myself in. I will never forget your kind words and praise! i’m here to offer support, to take it easy, listen to lots of 60s music..have iced coffee and a candy bar..read in touch magazine in your car, kick up your heels. You did it! You are a true American success! Take a trip to Paris and soak up the sun! You are perfect just the way you are!!
Yes! Life is gray! I just learned that in my 30’s, so you are doing GREAT!! Thanks for sharing yourself with us. We love ALL of you!
hugs Kendi 🙂
FUCK YEAH.
I don’t know if you will read this, since I’m a little late in reading your blog posting…But good for you. You are so right. The appearance of perfection is nothing. We are made perfect only through Jesus. I love reading your blog and I am so inspired by your outfits. I often think “What would Kendi wear?” But don’t put on airs for us. You are perfect…just as you are.
What’s really interesting is that there a lot of bloggers throwing up their hands and saying, “hell, I’m not perfect! My house is a mess, my life is hectic, I’m not the super-organized person you read here everyday!” I think what this means is that this life of trying to become successful in blogging and business is TOUGH SHIT! I, too, am a blogger, a newbie of some sorts, and I “get it.” That is my life–mom of 3 young boys, works a 9-to-5, spends my evenings blogging and painting furniture or tweaking my blog. Getting 4 hours of sleep sometimes. And we look to these successful blogs and think, “How the hell are THEY doing it?!” well, as we are seeing, they’re just as tired, exhausted, worn out, passionate, etc, as everyone else; they’re just able to hide it better behind their success.
Anyhow, keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t be afraid to take breaks. We will still be here when you get back. 🙂
Serena
Thrift Diving
I’m so glad you wrote this post Kendi – Trying to be clean and pretty everytime can be beautiful from the outside but from the inside it takes a lot of damn work! We love you, just like this 🙂
Oh Lord! I read your post ten times and now I feel like I’m gonna have a meltdown. Yikes!
It’s time to let something go Sweetie. Do you remember the scene from Coal miner ‘s Daughter? ‘Sometimes I feel like my life is running me’. Sleep is crucial to both your physical and mental health.
I usually combat my insomnia by reading blogs to destress…..usually between 2 & 4 a.m.
I find they always cheer me up. I usually start with yours, followed with My Edit.
I probably should be paying you both for the therapy!
Be good to You. Mother Yourself.
Uptown Catherine
You rock.
Good for you Kendi, I fully support needing some support sometimes 🙂 Hope you get some good sleep soon!
Messy is real. Tired is real. Hard is real. And this is beautiful. And, we all stick around because we like you however you are. Keep you chin up, keep seeing the gray (even when its uncomfortable), and keep breathing. Just please, please don’t stop writing :-).
Kendi, one of the things I have always LOVED about your blog is the fact that you NEVER seemed to be trying to make us all think you had a well-scrubbed life. You have always kept things positive and fun, but your lack of posts about the latest perfect party you threw/the amazing organic apple martini you made for Brian before you discussed modern art together/the personalized fizzy water bottle at your last photoshoot actually let me know that you were keeping your private life quiet, not pretending it didn’t exist or was perfect.
I think it’s one of the greatest blogging myths that you can only choose between two paths: being a cheerful liar and being an “authentic” train wreck. Some bloggers have to act like they have it all together; some bloggers feel like it’s “not authentic” until you hang all your dirty laundry out to dry. Both mistakenly act like their blogs have to perfectly represent their lives as a whole, rather than just showing a part of it. Both forget that you aren’t your blog, and that it’s okay to keep some things private from the world at large on the internet the way you keep some things private from new acquaintances.
This is kind of a weird comment (compared to others on this thread), but I just thought you might like to hear that I have never once thought that your life was perfect or well-scrubbed, or that you were trying to make it that way. Please don’t fall into the blogging lie that unlses you share every little last thing, you’re not being “real.” To me, it’s actually what makes you the realest of all-and the most like a real person, who does not tell everything to everyone who asks, but considers what is appropriate and what is not and acts accordingly.
So while I do want to hug you and say, hey Kendi, our lives are all like this, I just wanted to assure you that, don’t worry–we don’t think you’re perfect just because you don’t air your dirty laundry. We already knew what you were telling us, and so the fact that you told us just made us want to give you a hug, and not to judge you.
I think that what you did is amazing and I hope to visit your store soon. (I live in Irving.) I think this post is just the extra push I needed to motivate me to brave the rollercoaster of interchanges! (Um, promise I won’t hug you in the store, though! I will frankly probably be too shy to even admit that I read your blog and just pretend I have wandered in at random and start up a random conversation about area grocery stores instead.)
The world is real. The downside of FaceBook, fashion blogs, and such is that is skews out image of real life. I'm glad that you realized it's okay not to be okay. And that make me like your blog that much more. (I have noticed all my typos, but in the spirit of the post, I will leave them. Lol!)
Maybe you could be Kendi every other day!
I’m glad you shared this and decided not to be happy all the time on here. It’s good to let people in to you a little bit.
i see no flaws here.
I wish this post had a “like” button. I don’t really have a way with words the way that you do…buuuuut…you are such an inspiration and have such a beautiful and influential way with words.
I hope that you know you are such a powerful example to so many of us – and that you have a voice that many are listening to – me included!
Thanks for being willing to come out of the blog box of false expectations and be truthful about the real Kendi – behind Kendi. It is EXTREMELY hard work to make something beautiful and attractive and I say “here, here” to a season of finally showing a bit of that behind the scenes to the rest of the world and not making everyone believe that it’s all beauty and nothing else. 🙂
Kendi, you were already an inspiration to me, and now you’re even more of an inspiration! Thank you for your honesty. It makes me feel like it’s okay to be exhausted and tired and overwhelmed. I don’t own my own business, but I do work and have a family, and trying to balance it all seems nearly impossible most of the time. Thanks for saying that it’s okay to be a hot mess sometimes. I needed to hear that today, for real!
I’m mostly a lurker, but I’m glad you shared this post. We love you, we know you’re human, and it’s okay to have bad days or hard years. Your blog is still a source of style inspiration for your readers, and we deeply appreciate all the hard work and creativity that goes into both your blog and your professional life. As a newbie style blogger, I think it’s easy to get fixated on posting a great outfit or photo every day, and it’s more than okay not to. It’s also okay to let readers see the real woman behind the clothes. So, thanks, Kendi, and hang in there.
Hey Kendi,
Thanks for this. It makes me like you even more…and I liked your authentic, hilarious self a whole lot, even when I thought you looked perfect every single day.
I knew that you weren’t ACTUALLY perfect, hilarious, articulate, a smashing success as a wife and businesswoman, and cute every single day. None of us is. And it’s ok.
That’s the lesson it has taken me most of my 47 years to learn. So glad to see that you’re learning it already, at your tender age, and sharing it with others. (Don’t mean to sound at all patronizing here, but you will continue to grow immensely over the next few decades and throughout your life.)
It’s ok, Kendi. After all, it’s only clothing : )
Cheers and love to you!
I just wrote the equivalent of this post on my blog yesterday – not as eloquently, but I’ve been failing lately for all the world to see. It’s almost harder when you have a blog – if I was only failing for myself, it wouldn’t be so scary. But I also wouldn’t have the accountability and stick-to-it-ness that comes with my blog. 🙂 I’m pulling for you, sweet friend!
I just started following your blog. Why? Two reasons – first, I love your writing! Second – I love your style. (In that order.) You have a gift for writing. You are inspiring. This post shows why. Keep on keeping on. You rock! And thanks for the awesome style ideas!!
I saw this picture on Pinterest and totally thought of this post. Don’t worry, you’re not alone :]
oops the picture didn’t show up, but it said “Depressed, stressed, but still well dressed.”
perfectly acceptable to not be perfect! in fact, i think people are reassured when someone who is otherwise perfect, shows that she is not. i kind of thrive on not being perfect. if i was, what would i have to work for? you’re doing great. i’m sure you could get away with wearing a potato sack (as long as you added a belt or something) 🙂
🙂 I can imagine the outfits you are describing.
And I like the way you match them. Perfect.
I welcome the non-perfect times. Please feel free to share them here. I find they are great ways for us to learn from each other. You are pursuing a dream of yours. In that alone, we can learn how to take a big leap into a dream that’s daunting to us.
I’m glad you wrote this, because I was honestly wondering if you ever had a bad day? I know that’s not true, that you have, but I don’t know how you muster the energy to take a photo every.single.day and not seem crabby at some point? 🙂 None of us are perfect, so it will be nice to see the “other side” of you, even if you still hold back a little. I won’t judge 🙂 Love your blog and will continue to be a reader even on your not-so-perfect days.
perfect post!
amazing. I love this post. I love seeing your fantastic outfits but I definitely take solace hearing other people proclaim “I’m a mess!” Because from time to time we all are… I know this first hand!
THANK YOU.
http://mybachelorettepad.blogspot.com
For me, there is nothing more encouraging than knowing someone you respect is in fact a real person. Who spills coffee, stresses out and needs a break.
Telling it like it is is awesome and I thank you for it! It’s even more inspiring than silly “everything is peachy” attitudes. Keep it up, ladyfriend! And take all the “dark circle” days you need, I certainly do.
kendi, you are beautiful no matter what you wear. thank you for the honesty. i know i appreciate it and can’t imagine how hard this past year has been for you. i am still one of your biggest fans – dark circles and all…
I love that you are so real
http://www.hannamarielei.com/
Good for you, Kendi! It’s always better to share from your heart. People like real. Don’t be surprised if your candor evokes a newfound silence among readers. I’ve noticed that people aren’t as generous with comments on the tough stuff….but you’ll sleep a lot better being true to you. 🙂
Kendi – You are loved! 🙂
I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong — 2 Cor 12:10
Totally feeling this post…trying to buy my first house…and year 29 will go down in the books as the year where I cried, pulled my hair out, and laughed in hysterics because buying a house in southern caliornia as a young person sucks…but I am not giving up, because I too am an optimist.
So it is what it is. Sometimes we are tired. And never perfect. But we try are darnedest to do our best….maybe that is a woman thing…pretty sure it is.
So in my two years of greater wisdom, keep your head up…and let’s take this world over….one outfit at a time…
wow…my grammar sucks…hence the non-perfectness…blame it on lack of sleep…
we try *our* darnedest!
This may be one of my favorite posts from you ! I usually think when I read about your shop that it must be incredibly hard work and wondered why you did talk about it. I’m glad you will one day ! Don’t be afraid of sharing what you truly feel if you want too, nobody here will like you the less for it !
Sorry if there is a lot of mistakes in this comment ! Love from France.
Hey Kendi– I’m an avid reader, but rarely comment. Truly enjoy your fashion sense and your writing– it’s wonderful! I was really happy to see you take a little break today. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to post daily and run a business. I also share your sentiment that I want to be an optimist– but sometimes find it difficult. I recently read this article and found that it made me feel much better. I think it expressed the “gray” sentiment quite nicely–because being an optimist is not about being positive really– but about finding lessons in difficult moments.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/21/a-richer-life-by-seeing-the-glass-half-full/
Kendi this post is so real and I’m happy to see it. Being a business owner is hard it feels like you are always working I know the feeling…especially now that I am trying to take it to a full time schedule. It’s nice to see that others have the same struggles
I love the honesty of this post.
I’m feeling quite disillusioned with blogging at the moment so this speaks to me.
Keeping on smiling. I adore your blog for your wit more than anything else.
So thankful for your honesty. It seems like the majority of the social media comments I read seem to be super happy. I don’t want things to always be negative, but it begins to feel like there’s something wrong with me because my life is not always happy. Going through a phase now of dormancy, and it doesn’t feel “pretty” inside. I know life is a cycle, and this will cycle through as well. But really appreciate this post. Hugs to you!
kendi-i can’t tell you how much your honesty means to me. i’ve been going through a rough “face the music” moment myself. feeling like everyone else has it together and i do not. for some reason people feel like i have it together so i just nod and smile and then think “gosh, i am living a lie right in front of these people.” i feel like a mess a lot of the time. sometimes i ignore all of the blogs i read b/c they bring me down when they used to make me happy. but then…then there are those days when a blogger is honest and says, “ya know what…the gig is up. i’m having a bad day and i’m not going to slap on a smile and pretend otherwise. ftw.” those posts remind me that i am not alone in this crazy-messed-up-kind-of-cluttered life of mine. so, thank you for that post. thank you for your humor. thanks for being you! i must say, it was perfect timing.
london camille
youngdumblove.com
this is a beautiful post. ’nuff said.
girl, thanks. you’re very professional…and it’s okay to share these things when you need to.
I have my own small business and it’s hard…I feel the same way with it being black and white. sometimes when it’s hard I think it’s not going well..but toughing it out leads to greater things and reminds you that you have to work hard for something genuine and great…and that’s what you’re doing, right?? So don’t forget it.
p.s. I love your outfits and your hair and I love to pin them and share the greatness of them! 😉
love to ya,
Lindsay
Wonderful post. Simply wonderful.
I have always loved your blog, but this post just made me love it even more. I think most of us want to portray our lives as perfect even though we’re not. So here’s to being more honest, more real, and more… awesome, really. I hope that running a business gets a little easier, and that you get a lot more sleep!
I have truly loved your honesty this past week or so! It really helps me as a blogger say what I want to say. Actually, I just typed up a post for tomorrow entitled "Where Do I Fit In?" and I'm ready to post it, even though a small part of me is afraid. And, I envy your courage to start a business you've always wanted to open. The courage of my youth has turned to fear. I will, however, continue to dream!
http://akstylemyway.blogspot.com/
Thanks for this post. Your life seems perfect to me and now I realize this is not the case. My life is not perfect either. Yes, let’s be friends and tell each other it’s okay to be a mess sometimes. Hi, my name is Emilie and I am a mess today. 🙂
Thanks for this post. Your life seems perfect to me and now I realize this is not the case. My life is not perfect either. Yes, let's be friends and tell each other it's okay to be a mess sometimes. Hi, my name is Emilie and I am a mess today. 🙂
Y’know, we don’t read just for the clothes – we read for you. Thank you for sharing your genuine and wonderfully figuring it out self.
Y'know, we don't read just for the clothes – we read for you. Thank you for sharing your genuine and wonderfully figuring it out self.
You are nice! I like you. 🙂
You are nice! I like you. 🙂
You are nice! I like you. 🙂
You are nice! I like you. 🙂
Thank you for writing this – its encouraging to me as a blogger who has her fair share of hard days to keep pressing on. So glad I found your blog today!
Thank you for writing this – its encouraging to me as a blogger who has her fair share of hard days to keep pressing on. So glad I found your blog today!
Forgive me for showing up so late to this party (I was out of the country when this post went up), but I just wanted to encourage you to keep down the path of “giving up your well-scrubbed life.” As you can see with the large response to this post – people want real and they are so happy you opened up! So why not continue to give it to them? It appears to me in my personal opinion, like all of your posts since this one haven’t had any changes (the same photography style, etc.) but it really sounds like your readers would be open to it if that’s the direction you want to go.
This is also a little bit of an emperor’s new clothes moment. I was a little shocked at the comments, because to me this post felt very “do as I say, and not as I do.” The perception is that your life is perfect, because that is how you portray it. I think many bloggers want it that way (and certainly traditional fashion media does), but if you are really saying you don’t want it that way, you have the opportunity to change that. We of course all know that it’s certainly not possible your life is as perfect as it seems (no one’s is!), and it certainly is fabulous that you decided to share what is on your heart and share with us how hard your day was. But where is the photo of you looking not perfect that day? Or changes since this post? You can tell us that it’s okay to not be perfect, but modeling that behavior is even more important.
The topic of realness in media is my life – I exist because I want to counteract the “perfect” we see in fashion, and it’s why I show up to work everyday. So that’s where I’m coming from with this comment, and why I felt it was important to add my two cents. Hope it was some food for thought! 🙂
Forgive me for showing up so late to this party (I was out of the country when this post went up), but I just wanted to encourage you to keep down the path of "giving up your well-scrubbed life." As you can see with the large response to this post – people want real and they are so happy you opened up! So why not continue to give it to them? It appears to me in my personal opinion, like all of your posts since this one haven't had any changes (the same photography style, etc.) but it really sounds like your readers would be open to it if that's the direction you want to go.
This is also a little bit of an emperor's new clothes moment. I was a little shocked at the comments, because to me this post felt very "do as I say, and not as I do." The perception is that your life is perfect, because that is how you portray it. I think many bloggers want it that way (and certainly traditional fashion media does), but if you are really saying you don't want it that way, you have the opportunity to change that. We of course all know that it's certainly not possible your life is as perfect as it seems (no one's is!), and it certainly is fabulous that you decided to share what is on your heart and share with us how hard your day was. But where is the photo of you looking not perfect that day? Or changes since this post? You can tell us that it's okay to not be perfect, but modeling that behavior is even more important.
The topic of realness in media is my life – I exist because I want to counteract the "perfect" we see in fashion, and it's why I show up to work everyday. So that's where I'm coming from with this comment, and why I felt it was important to add my two cents. Hope it was some food for thought! 🙂
This is such a late reply to your entry, Kendi, but thank you for sharing this. This is the kind of post I need. I hope you are doing fine and great now. Cheers! xx
This is such a late reply to your entry, Kendi, but thank you for sharing this. This is the kind of post I need. I hope you are doing fine and great now. Cheers! xx