Hi guys! We are in the middle of Move Week over here but THANK YOU for your kind responses on my last life update post. The love is felt and I wish I could give you an actual hug.
absolutely no shade to anyone in this photo, they look great! (vogue.com)
I know that this is the type of post for January, but I wasn’t ready to think about trends in January yet. January is such a dead month for me, but February? I’m coming alive. And in thinking of how I want to re-invent my style this year, I’m not quite sure what that will look like. However I do know what it won’t look like and I wanted to share my ‘out’ list with you! I want to know what’s on your ‘out’ list, too so let me know below! Also just as a reminder, this is a personal hot take not necessarily me telling you what not to do. 🙂
Wearing unflattering trends just because they’re “in” :
If I may speak for a lot of us, I would like to say that 2023 was a hard year for style trends, especially for millennials. It seemed as if designers and retailers couldn’t quite put their finger on where they wanted to go and as a result it left consumers feeling a bit lost as well. We as a collective generation have turned to the internet for style advice, inspo and ideas since our early 20s (or earlier for you younger millennials). I started Kendi Everyday in 2009 after I had followed my own collection of bloggers to start sharing my own style journey. Then Pinterest, the original outfit mecca, was created followed by instagram and here we are. If you are like me, I’m completely dependent on those three channels for style inspo. When you take a generation who takes style cues from the internet that has largely been ruled by us millennials and add in a completely new class, things get confusing. Gen Z is the antithesis of millennial style, of which I offer comment without opinion. (I truly don’t care how they dress.) Where we enjoy slimming high rise denim with a skinnier leg or a straight leg jean, they prefer wide leg, looser fit jeans with a low rise. Historically we have loved a longer top, a looser top with a skinnier pant whereas many a-silhouette of Gen Z is a wider bottom with a fitted top. The hourglass has been flipped and it feels completely disorienting because we have ruled the style of the internet for the past decade plus. Not only are trends changing but loudly, too. Last year was a year of many tiktoks declaring millennials ‘cringe’ for just existing in our many millennial ways. It felt like we had two choices: to stay in our current (maybe outdated) styles and be deemed old, faded or I guess worse “cringe” or adapt quickly to the fast fashion and trends of 2023 presented by the new class.
I, for one, felt lost in it all which is not a good feeling as a ‘influencer’ or someone who tries to guide YOU in the right direction. Last year didn’t feel like there was a good direction to turn. It was actually my least shoppable year. I just didn’t really like anything, if I can be honest. The other issue is that I am almost 40 and I’m just fine with that but some of the trends just don’t apply to my lifestyle or my body shape. I find traditional millennial style to be the most universally flattering and the – what I will call Gen Z style just isn’t my best look. I can understand where my body dysphoria came from when I put these “trends” on; the early 00s rear their ugly heads and thin brows to haunt me as if my body is the problem.
Which leads me to the point of this first stanza: I’m fine to try trends but will not force them on my body. I’m more than happy for a shake up of style, but I won’t trade comfort for current. And if that’s cringe, then babe I’m the biggest dork you’ll find.
I realize I should give examples: low cut or mid rise denim or pants, a wide leg denim with an equally as wide top, chunky / clunky sandals and shoes with a non straight or skinny pant (see below), puff sleeve tops, tops that are too oversized, wide leg trousers that don’t flatter a rounded waist, the cowboy trend, I could go on and on….etc.
Amazon:
This has a whole post coming for it, but here’s a quick take. Last year I hit my fill with Amazon, I’m just not finding quality pieces that work for me anymore. The convenience of it all isn’t worth the trade off of quality and fit. Again, I have a whole post about this but basically I won’t be shopping on Amazon for fashion this year. What are your thoughts on Amazon? I have lots, if you want to hear them let me know!
Cropped Tops:
This is probably determined by recent weight gain but either way, they’re just not serving me and you know what? They’re kind of annoying. I see a point for 1 or 2 basic crops, ok? With high waisted pants or a skirt, I see the need. But overall the cropped look isn’t working for me or for my style this year. I will be buying normal length or oversized tops this year, thank you very much. The crop has left the building over here. Why do I feel like I can hear a collective sigh from you? 😉
Distressed Denim:
This is coming less from a ‘trend report’ and more from a person who has spent a lot of time in her closet alone looking at everything I’ve bought in the past 10 years. I hate to say it but I’m over ripped straight or skinny denim and raw hems. I’ve been finding lately that I want to feel a bit more pulled together and classic looking and ripped denim says differently. Ripped denim eats in her car, regular denim cooks a nice meal at home, you know? (I still eat in my car, but my knees don’t get ketchup on them now.) I think that if you are still loving a ripped denim or raw hem look, of course don’t throw them out! But if you already have distressed denim in your collection, when buying denim this year, look for non-ripped classics. I think style will go more of a classic vibe in the next few years as well as retiring the word ‘vibe.’ Keep them in their own genre of casual instead of trying to juxtapose them with more classic pieces as that will date an outfit pretty quickly. If you are going for a more classic look, pair non distressed denim with structured jackets or blazers and distressed denim with hoodies, basic sweaters, graphic tees, etc. There’s room for everyone but I think that our denim is going to be more genre-specific instead of juxtaposed this year.
The flared legging:
Ya’ll I’ve tried and tried and tried behind the scenes over ehre and I just don’t know if it’s for me. I want it to be, truly. I love the look on others but I am FLOODED with memories of junior high and high school. I put a chunky sneaker with them and a hoodie the other day and I didn’t recognize that adult child in the mirror. It’s not not a trigger but I definitely feel weirdly juvenile. I can’t explain it better than that – I just feel juvenile. And as someone who is absolutely ready to embrace her 40s, it just doesn’t feel like me or what I want to wear. I feel best in regular skinny leggings. So even though I’ve tried for the better part of 2 years, I can’t do it any more. So long flared leggings, to the pre-loved shop you go.
30 Responses
YES!!! I tried some wide legs on recently and it just didn’t work with my existing wardrobe (looser/longer tops). finding styles that work for 40 yr old who has an office job is impossible these days. Loft used to be a good standby but they’ve gone too cute the past few years so now I’m lost. I’ve been trying to avoid fast fashion like amazon too.
LAUGHED SO HARD I SPIT WATER ON MY COMPUTER WHEN READING THIS PART: “I still eat in my car, but my knees don’t get ketchup on them now.” (ME TOO, BY THE WAY. I JUST OWN A CORDLESS VACCUM TO HIDE THE CRUMBS THESE DAYS.) HOPE YOU HAVE AN EASY MOVE AND THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR HUMOR AND PERSPECTIVE WITH US!
i love love love that you’re giving up amazon. i love your blog, your style, your words – you definitely help me find pieces that i want to try. but the convenience of amazon is not worth the fast fashion of it all. so happy you’re making this choice. Distressed jeans are also not for me. I inevitably put my foot through the holes and tear them more, rendering them unwearable. I have one pair left, but I stopped buying them years ago because I just wasted my money. I enjoy a crop top, but a reasonable crop. oh. and ‘flared leggings’ make me laugh because all i see are the hardtails of the early aughts.
This was a great post. I was definitely a part of the collective “Buh bye, Crop top” sigh. I’m 6’0″ – everything is already basically a crop top.
100% aligned with you on this and thank you for posting!
Great post. I am the same age as you and have been in a similar boat the past few years trying to figure out fashion these days. This morning I was reflecting on some new pieces I recently added to my wardrobe that fit my body, feel current, and make me feel the way I want to feel. I’m excited to be on this journey with you!
Could not love this more! i have struggled with the changing denim trends so much lately. i really want to try new styles and something other than a skinny jean, but it just doesn’t look good on my body type and the tops i already have in my closet. Also the flare leggings.. just not my thing! And crop tops… collective sigh for sure! Thank you for saying what all of us non-influencer millenials have been thinking and struggling with!!
I could not agree more about giving up on Amazon. Now that I’m in my 40s, I just want nicer things, and Amazon clothes are not it. (Target clothes I’ll still take though!) I watch a lot of YouTube style influencers, and at this point, I just skip their amazon haul episodes.
I too keep trying to force the amaozn fashion and it never works. Would love tk hear more of your thoughts! Im so done with it. (Not sure why this is all caps)
Agree that We can all do better than amazon!!
Oh my gosh – tried SO hard to make the crop top work for me…it just does not! Thanks for saying these things so eloquently – can’t wait to hear more!
This is so refreshing to read. I feel the same, in the same age group. it’s okay not to like trends you don’t feel that serve you!! funny i read something the other day how silver jewelry is back and i thought, i never embraced gold, i’ve always been a silver girl! Sometimes you just like what you like.
i feel you on passing on the flared leggings and crops!! don’t even get me started on jeans. i am still struggling to branch out of my skinnies. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about amazon because i feel like i came to a similar place at the end of last year, dropping off a big batch of returns that i really didn’t like because i felt the quality was so off. not worth getting in a day if you are just returning it the next!! We can def do better. Yes we are on this journey with you too!
This is perfect. agree totally and can’t wait to see what you find in 2024!
TOTALLY AGREE! WE NEED MORE BLOGGERS LIKE YOU TO POST THEIR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT TRENDS. AND YES, AMAZON DOESN’T HAVE IT ANYMORE. THEY DID, STILL HAVE PIECES FROM 2019-2020 THAT LOOK GREAT, BUT I’M SICKING OF ALL THE RETURNING.
So in favor of letting these things go… and yet, you still make them look good! Can we please talk about how Amazon is the new Forver 21 aka fast fashion junk?!?
omg thank you for this post….totally agree with it all! someone had to say it girl!!! The crop tops everywhere is a little cringe. I think that one hits home. 1 or 2 in my closet is just enough 🙂
Yes to everything in this post! 2023 had been nust a blah year ror fashion PERSONALLY. I did not enjoy SHOPPING like i used to and i feel like i was being someone i did not recognize. I am not one to follow trends, but something about 2023 trends had me buying and wearing things that weren’t serving me. Thanks for reminding me to just stay true to yourself!
https://www.fiverr.com/s/xx1Vja
Love this! I am about the same age as you and am a college professor, so I’m around Gen Z all day long. I learned a long time ago that there’s really NOTHING I can do to look cool to them, and that’s ok. I’m not 21 anymore, and I don’t really want to look 21 anymore either (37 is fine with me). That said, I do still see value in looking current, even if I’m no longer pursuing “trendy” (does anyone else draw a distinction between current and trendy)? For me, I just can’t do true skinny jeans anymore – they look so, so dated to my eye! I’m also not doing low-rise, super wide-leg jeans – too trendy, and doesn’t really suit me. I’m currently sticking with slim straight jeans and have also been experimenting with full-length boot cut again, although with a higher rise than I wore in the early aughts. I’m with you on the ripped jeans! And like others here, I really have no interest in Amazon for fashion.
I’m Gen X and I love trends but still lean towards trying to look put together and somewhat stylish and classic most days. I’m over trying to wear Loose, Wide light colored jeans with chunky shoes. It looks so bad (on everyone, but especially Me and most ladies in their 40s). Big Sigh. I hate flare jeans too. Super cropped tops look dumb on anyone over 20. I miss skinny jeans some days and I hate that wearing Camel/cognac colored stuff is out. Ha haa. I miss dressing up a little but fully embrace fashion sneakers. Fashion post-pandemic era as a mid-40’s something is CONFUSING as hell. Thanks for letting me vent! We hear you, Kendie. Be yoU… but make it fashion.
I’m moving towards high-waisted wide leg pants – but i’m also 47 and have found the “lovely” post-menopausal weight gain. that means, no crop tops unless i’ve layered it with an oversized shirt! i’m trying to buy all the high-waisted 7 mid-rise pants before they are non-existent!
…it’s2024
https://www.fiverr.com/s/AvV2ZR
Best post ever Kendie! thanks for putting down exactly how many of us feel 😉 could not agree more
greetings from rome (italy)
Long live skinny jeans! Thank you for this post — I am so glad to hear I am not alone.
Would love to hear more on amazon. It’s An ethical issue for me. Been gone for going on two years and i don’t Miss it. Have convinced some family members, too! Sometimes i’m annoyed at myself, but most of the time enjoy the thrill of the sustainable hunt, so to speak. I hate that influencers can make so much immoral $ through affiliate links with apparently no thought to the perils of fast fashion. Okay so that’s what i think… your turn, Kendi!
Always nice and looks so greatful collections I love it..
Nice and superb artilce.
I am with you regarding amazon fashion. I just ordered a vest sweatshirt – it was awful. May i request some nice tshirt or short sleeve shirts for church or dressier settings?
I think it’s great that you’re so in tune with your style and are not afraid to say “no” to trends that don’t serve you.