Faux Real

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Surprisingly I already had a post called ‘Faux Show‘ which was equal parts disappointing and satisfying. I guess it’s a good thing that my humor never changes? Or is that a bad thing? Don’t answer that.

I mentioned on insta last night that I’d had a rough day yesterday*. I say this with a sigh and a shrug, but I still struggle with depression and deep down I know I always will. I know it’s not something that can be cured in a day and it’s not as bad as it was back in the spring, but I hate that it’s still there from time to time. I wear it like an old favorite shirt that I just can’t give away. 

I have a list of things to do when I feel it coming on: yoga, go for a walk, take a break. Lately getting dressed has been on that list of things that make me happy. I know that may sound trite, but I like to think that with clothing I can dress and be whoever I want to be. Today I just wanted to be someone who is happy and doesn’t deal with depression. If a faux leather skirt and leopard heels doesn’t scream happy and carefree, well then I don’t know what does. 

*ALSO not to alarm you: I am okay, it’s just still the journey I’m on. The good news is that I’m not hiding under the covers or taking cover from the rain that isn’t there. I got up and got dressed today and that is good.


_____________________

Top: Gap

Skirt: bloom

Shoes: ShoeMint // Similar (kind of)

Purse: Kelly Wynne via bloom

Lips: Target (capri)


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99 Responses

  2. Beautiful as always 🙂 And I like hearing your real thoughts. Keep persevering!

    Reply

  3. Hang in there, girl! (imagine one of those posters with a kitten hanging from a tree) I think you're right about dressing to feel happy though. Totally works for me!

    ~Sarah of Sarah's Real Life

    Reply

  4. Here's one way to think of it: you are lucky to be battling depression. On this difficult journey you will learn more about yourself than some people learn in a lifetime. You soul search everyday and look for little things that makes you happy (maybe without even realizing it)…try to look at that as an advantage my dear. Your whole situation will only make you stronger each day.

    Prayers (from another battler of depression/anxiety)

    xx
    Katelyn
    http://www.katelynnow.com

    Reply

  9. looking so sexy today! good for you, for using wearapy! 🙂
    hope you feel better soon.. you've already achieved so much! love you!

    Reply

  14. A faux leather skirt does that for me too. Really any leather, faux or not. Glad you're feeling at least a little bit better, and that you're learning how to deal. 🙂 It's a big step and you should be proud of yourself.

    xo Ashley

    thetiniestfirecracker.com

    Reply

  15. You look great and hope you felt it too in that outfit! Keep your head up-we all have our own struggles on a daily basis. It's not always easy to deal with them, let alone telling everyone on your blog. Thinking of you!xx

    Jacqueline
    http://www.purelypeanut.com

    Reply

  17. Kendi, I absolutely love your blog and your style. Thank you for being honest with what you go through! I will keep you in my prayers! keep the beautiful posts coming! you are a beautiful person, inside and out!

    Reply

  19. It takes a lot to share something difficult that you are going thru..major props to you for that & more props to you for being pro-active & having a list of remedies to use when you you feel your depression coming on.

    Side note: Totally obsessed with your shoes !!! Love the duo animal print!!! Just went to an even on sunday that was animal print themed. You wouldn't believe how many women were decked out in leopard!!! These shoes are a great twist!!! My hubby was not about to wear leopard print anything to I found him a neon shirt at khols that had an actual print of a tiger in sunglasses on it…sometimes you have to be creative in adverse situations!!

    http://stylishadventures-al.com

    Reply

  22. first off, i'm glad you are ok. take it in baby steps. a day at a time for sure. secondly, you look absolutely gorgeous!

    Reply

  23. everyday will be different which is so annoying. about 4 years ago i thought i was being what my mother would call "hormonal". it got worse and worse to where i had to visit a dr. he ended up putting me on meds and after discussing my family history, i realized that it was an undiagnosed situation that was running from generation to generation. after a couple years of trying to find different meds and going through an 80 pound weight gain that was a side effect, i sought treatment from some hollistic doctors. i have lost some of the weight and am doing much better. i am off the antidepresants and have supplements that help my seratonin now. still some days are happier than others but i am on the right track.
    on a happier note… love the outfit!

    Reply

  25. Completely adorable outfit!

    I like the idea of figuring out little things that can act as quick pick-me-ups when you're feeling down. I definitely use that too! Probably shouldn't use chocolate as a crutch so much, haha. Also I make a point to notice what little things tend to make me feel low and avoid them — no more sad movies for me! 🙂

    Reply

  28. I love this look! It is very cute and that skirt is really amazing. Rough days come, its just the way it is. I always just snuggle up with my boyfriend or my puppy and that usually helps:)

    Leah Faye

    a clover and a bee

    Reply

  34. There's nothing trite about taking pleasure in creating your daily outfit. Sometimes that's my only joy in the day. But as long as I want to make the effort, I know there's hope.

    Reply

  35. I've struggled with depression my whole life. I have a "happy list" and I say pack it full of 'trite'! Mine is full of childish pleasures like swings and cotton candy and daisies. Don't feel you need to be anything on any day – just do it for yourself 🙂 One day you'll realize it's gotten surprisingly easy to shake it off!

    Reply

  36. I definitely know how you feel – I'm an anxiety girl! But yoga is always on my to-do whenever I start getting down. You look great in this!! Love the skirt 🙂

    Kim
    http://trendkeeper.me

    Reply

  37. Hah, apparently I have the same sense of humor because I find both "faux show" and "faux real" to be hilarious/awesome post titles. Also: love the skirt and LOVE the shoes.

    Reply

  38. Oh, your shirt is awesome! Love the two color vibe. Kudos to you for being open and working on your depression.The trite things are the best things in life that give us a bit of happiness we are looking for- no shame in that. I hope your day has been lovely.

    Reply

  41. I think we all struggle with unhappiness, and the pressure to be happy all the time makes it worse. I have to say, though, that this is one of my favorite outfits of yours. Wishing you the best from the comment section.

    Reply

  42. You look beautiful and it's inspiring to have you share this very private and personal struggle…I hope you feel a lot of genuine support cause, I"m pretty sure, everyone who comments means it! We all want peace for you and truly respect your bravery!
    I'd just like to add I'll be praying for you…I know in my life, without an eternal hope…knowing that God has more for me, even on my deep dark days, I would never get through…I'll be praying you can find His face amidst this struggle and come out on the other side with the hope that sustains you (in addition to the joy of very cute outfits…I'm all for that too <3 )!!

    Reply

  43. You look fabulous and glad you are doing well – thanks for being real. All the best to you!

    Reply

  46. Kendi, I love your words as much as I adore your outfits. You have serious style in both, whether with your wit or your honesty. I appreciate it, and I love your posts because it's seldom that a style blog makes me laugh on a consistent basis too! Also, this. Thanks for being brave enough to show the real heart and vulnerability underneath the Gorg. We've never met, but I feel like we're kindred spirits with the whole depression deal (kind of like the weather how it comes and goes, sunny one day, cloudy the next week, etc.) Going though some Major Drama myself and life upheaval personally right now, so I much appreciate the daily shot of sunshine everyday. Cheers, thanks and much <3333.

    Reply

  48. I hate it when I think I've come up with the most original title ever and realize… I already used it way back in the archives of my blog, haha. Pun repeat or not, this outfit is fun. I want to find a skirt like that, but here in Korea, everyone is two times skinnier than I am, so not holding my breath.

    Regarding your real life, take the pleasure anywhere you can and who cares if if's "trite" or not? For the record, if it is pleasing to you and contributes to your well-being, it's not trite. (:

    Reply

  51. Happy you're sharing your journey with us! Finding things to help you cope is what life is about; i also find happiness in getting dressed. You just feel so good about yourself, even on the worst days. This look is absolutely adorable

    xo, Nina

    afterthe40barfinish

    Reply

  56. Kudos for speaking so frankly about a tough subject. I've followed your blog for a few years and have found your posts to be funny, inspirational, and sincere. (And obviously your style is great!) Thanks for sharing with us.

    Reply

  57. You look absolutely fantastic!

    Like Jess just said, I think your posts are funny and you are truely inspirational to be able to work your way through your issues while running your own business and posting nearly every day on this blog. Thank you for that. We're certainly happy that you're willing to confide in us and will be your sounding board whenever you need us!

    Reply

  60. Sending you lots of prayers and love! Our family knows depression and anxiety well, and it is always a battle, but I've seen what it looks like to come out on the other side much better and stronger. You will get there, too! I just know it. 🙂

    Reply

  65. I'm a recent convert to your blog and look forward to your cheerful words and eclectic styles on a daily basis. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles but am sending THREE BIG CHEERS for getting up and getting dressed today. One day at a time is all we can do, and you're doing it!

    Reply

  66. I somehow forgot to mention how I adore that Gap top. Saw it at the store recently and I was tempted to buy it, but didn't know how to style it since it was little shorter in length. I might just have to go back and get it 🙂

    Thanks girl!

    http://www.katelynnow.com

    Reply

  67. I love this outfit, and it's lovely and heartwarming to see you channel your energy into creating something that makes you happy as a way to overcome those feelings. I've never been to a doctor about depression, because I honestly don't know for sure if that's been my problem in the last year, but I can relate to your feelings of wanting to hide under the covers. There have been days when I've gotten home from work, knowing I should do something like work on a short story or write a blog post–SOMETHING to take my mind off of, well, my mind–and all I could manage was shutting myself up in my room and curling up on my bed. Not to sleep–just to lie there, because the idea of actually doing something made me anxious and nervous. I've been doing a lot of praying and talking to God, and I went to this church last weekend that I really liked, and I can honestly say that it's been helping. I think I've just been putting a lot of pressure on myself since I graduated college last year, so I'm trying to just take it one day at a time instead of 50 or 100. Anyway, I think I know a little bit of how you feel, even if not entirely. I hope that you continue to find ways to overcome it. Your blog is lovely and I think you are a lovely person. That is what counts. 🙂

    Reply

  68. Good for you for channeling your energy. I don't struggle with depression, but I definitely struggle with feeling inadequate and not good enough, so I sort of understand where you're coming from. (((Hugs to you)))

    Reply

  69. I read a lot of fashion blogs, and have been reading yours for a long while (but have never commented I don't think), and I think what makes yours stick out is just how real you are on here. I really appreciate your posts like these when you admit that not everything is as sunny as it it looks in your photos. It's so hard to open up about the 'bad' stuff on here, and we all know it, which is why most of us don't! Thanks for your words, and your always amazing style – that faux-leather skirt is killer.

    Reply

  72. Hang in there Kendi. Ride the wave and you will come out alright on the other side. You are beautiful inside and out 🙂

    Reply

  75. You do such an amazing job being transparent about your life! As fashion and lifestyle bloggers continue to pop up, I continually come back to your's because you approach your readers how you approach life, honestly and with a touch of sarcasm. Thank you for keeping the blog world real!

    -Jessica

    Lifeon125th.blogspot.com

    Reply

  77. Girlfriend, if you are having a feel like shit day, you should wear this outfit every time. Your legs! You look a million dollars and I hope you feel it too. Thinking of you x

    Reply

  78. Kendi, thank you for being so honest about this! I have an awesome brother who struggles with it as well, I call him Eyor sometimes to make light of it 🙂 and I struggle with anxiety. Something I say a lot when I've had enough with the fear of worry is "You are enough, you have enough, you do enough" I love it because there really is nothing truer.

    You're in my prayers today!

    Maddy
    http://www.theprettysouth.com/

    Reply

  79. First of all i absolutely love this outfit. Second of all, many of us suffer from depression. I know that i'm going through something right now, but like you said, i'm not hiding under the covers and neither are you. Good for you Kendi and thank you for sharing.

    Agi:)

    vodkainfusedlemonade.com

    Reply

  81. Thanks for sharing and being so fabulous. Another long time reader and supporter but finally commenting. I am typically a very positive person but recently a number of family health issues have led to dark thoughts and depression.

    It is so refreshing to hear someone speak candidly about their struggles. Thank you for being such an inspiration!

    Reply

  83. Kendi,

    This may be a little forward but I figured since you've posted
    about your depression several times now, maybe you are open for
    suggestions. My struggle is anxiety and I started having debilitating
    panic attacks last year. I missed one month of work. I couldn't get off
    my couch, I couldn't drive or go out into the world. I had a panic attack
    at Stonebrier Mall in Frisco once (who wouldn't, though!??). Joking aside, it
    really took away my personality and who I was. I finally got on an
    anti-depressant and again, just giving you a recommendation. It changed
    everything. It took a while to kick in (probably 2 weeks) but I
    immediately started feeling like myself again. I have been on it now for
    a year and a half with no regrets. I am a person that sometimes
    struggles with accepting things I cannot change about myself, including
    this. I was VERY weary of getting on medication but after realizing I
    really needed it to be the best version of myself, I accepted it. I may
    never know why this anxiety sprung up on me. I tried to search for every
    answer and it can be so very isolating because you think no one else
    out there is going through what you are. But I am here to tell you that
    you are not alone. Go see a doctor….get on medicine for your
    depression…and take it day by day. Trust me on this.

    Wishing you all the best. Life is too short not to feel good everyday

    Reply

  84. You look amazing. I wish you all the best on your battle against depression.

    Reply

  85. wow! I could have never thought you were dealing with this, I thought you were just being humorous for a second until I read it correctly.

    I think you are doing a great job and I love what you said about dressing who you want to be because that is what fashion is all about; making you feel better. With my blog thats the message I try to give to people. Fashion is not all about the name brands, it is so much more deeper than that and not everyone can see it.

    Glad you do. Feel better 🙂

    Xo,
    Belen
    *** New post up! http://www.androbelinsider.blogspot.com visit me 🙂 ***

    Reply

  86. Hi Kendi. It's ironic that this post is titled "Faux Real" because I truly appreciate how really real you are. As a fan of many style blogs, it's sometimes hard not to feel down because everyone else's lives appear picture perfect. Your honesty AND your great style are why I read your blog. Hang-in there! I hope tomorrow is better!

    Reply

  88. Kendi, this outfit is so perfect… I love every single detail! I'm sorry to hear that you had a crappy day but equally happy to know you've nailed down the things that help you get through the rough ones.

    xoxo,
    Chelsea & The City

    Reply

  89. Hi Kendi, I just wanted to say hello. I have been following your style posts for months now and I absolutely love your casual-yet-classy take on getting dressed. Unlike a lot of style bloggers, your style is very accessible for me. Today, your post really resonated with me. I too suffer from (often crippling) depression. Thank you for sharing your story and for allowing us, your readers, to enter your world. You are more than the beautiful outfits you put together and I really appreciate your wisdom about getting up and getting dressed being a good thing. It's important to take everything one step at a time, which is definitely something I forget. Thanks for offering me a bit of hope and comfort and reminding me that just pretending to be happy can be a step in the right direction. I hope you find another reason to smile today! 🙂 best, caitlin.

    Reply

  91. Perfectly said!! Sending Kendi sunshine & love! Cutest outfit in the blogosphere too!! ?

    Reply

  94. I just bought a similar sweater at Zara. Will definitely be pairing with my leather skirt! Cute.

    Reply

  95. Great post. Thank you for sharing this with us. You look beautiful and happy in this outfit and that is so important!

    I have a leather skirt just like this that I've had trouble finding things to pair with but I will try a shirt like this 🙂 I feel like this look is very inspiring and something that belongs on The StyleUp to inspire other woman to try new things!

    http://www.thestyleup.com/

    Reply

  97. De-lurking to say hi! I'm a long time follower. I appreciate you sharing your story. I, too, have suffered from debilitating depression for as long as I remember. I'm 37 and want to have another child and am not ready to go on a maintenance medicine for life. The thing that has worked best for me, in a addition to the things you mention, is becoming gluten free. By accident, I was tested for an allergy after having a severe reaction to a supplement. I immediately changed my diet and have felt better emotionally and physically ever since. It's at least worth an allergy test if you are curious. There are tons of links to gluten allergies & depression.

    Reply

  99. I totally understand what you mean. It's hard to kick off an old habit. And after living with depression for a while it becomes kinda like a habit. I wish you the best in this journey of beating depression. Good Luck!

    By the way it's definitely okay to dress your best to make you happy on a gloomy day 🙂 And I love the outfit

    Reply

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