Copy That

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I will be honest: I saw this entire outfit on a mannequin at Madewell (my current store crush, if you can’t tell). I’m not ashamed to say that I took a photo of it to stash in my idea pile to use later. It was perfect — I mean I already had the skirt, I had a similar blouse to the one they featured and I may have talked myself into purchasing the scarf to complete the look. I was a little unsure of shoes because their mannequins don’t have feet so I was left to my own wits. Thank goodness I was thinking clear this morning. 

However, for some reason I felt like this was cheating. I stealthily took a photo of the mannequin as if someone was going to catch me and take my phone away. Like if I copy this inanimate object’s outfit, it’s not my own creativity; it’s somehow not still putting myself together. Sometimes I feel that way with Pinterest. I’ll see an outfit I love and can easily recreate within my closet but I don’t because, well, you know it’s “already been done”. This is a ridiculous way to think, if you haven’t already come to that conclusion which you probably have because you are a smart lady (or gent). I don’t have any great declaration or pin-worthy words to put to this, but I’ve just been thinking about that lately. About the fear of someone thinking that I’m not 100% original all the time or the fear of copying something great because I want to look great, too. What do we not create on our own because we are too afraid it resembles someone else? 

I hope that you are reading this in your best Carrie voice-over. It would make me so proud. 

__________________

Scarf: Madewell

Blouse: Bloom

Skirt: Madewell

Glasses: similar Ray Bans (thanks to the mister for letting me borrow)

Tote: Madewell

Heels: Similar

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Fit Details

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165 Responses

  10. I'm glad someone else feels that way too! I'm so awkward about it, but then again..I sometimes I copy outfits without even thinking about it. Then, I see a photo of something that looks exactly like what I wore one day, and I'm like, wait.. what? Oh well.. ha. 

    I love this outfit though! I've been thinking about getting a striped skirt, this has pushed me even more so in that direction! 

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  11. this outfit is stunning. one of my favorites from you! 
    totally get your pinterest/mannequin dilemma. i often feel that way! trying to overcome it and just think of imitation as the sincerest form of flattery
    kw, http://www.ladiesinnavy.com

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  12. Honestly I think taking and copying inspiration from sites, magazines and mannequins is a great way to develop your own sense of style.  I am not inherently stylish like you, so starting with someone else's ideas helps push me to dress outside the box, which only helps open my mind to other creative ways of dressing.  All this to say you look great and don't feel bad 🙂

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  13. I completely agree. I see looks I want to re-create and then feel like a phony for not coming up with a look on my own. But reallym, that is silly, We are surrounded with numerous means for inspiration. Naturally should use these means to create even if an outfit resembles another. It still contains our own items and our own sassiness.

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  14. I actually didn't realize how much I would wear this skirt when I bought it. It seems like it would  be a novelty piece but it's actually quite easy to remix with pieces. I say go for a striped skirt 🙂

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  16. … now that I think about it, I rarely pin an outfit unless I already do own the majority of the pieces (or something similar), and I fully intend to wear it.  I wouldn't feel bad. You put plenty out there. No shame in taking a little back.

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  18. You seem to have a knack for making the outfit your own. I love the addition of the blue shoes.

    How did you tie the scarf? I can't quite seem to make square shaped scarves look good and I love the Storyteller Scarves.

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  19. I feel the same way! Sometimes I'll pin something and then wait a little while before recreating it in case someone sees that I JUST pinned it and calls me out. So silly haha! Glad I'm not alone 😉 And you look fab…that mannequin can't even compete!

    XO, Alison
    http://www.ChainStrapPurse.com

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  20. LOL you look adorable but I totally get you I sometimes see an outfit and do not recreate it because i don't feel it's original. But eventually you will find that someone somewhere is probably dressed just like you.

    xo
    http://pinksole.com

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  22. You have fabulous creativity as is proof by your blog, other people have that too, we're just one big melting pot of creativity & there will be times when we bounce off each other & add our own spin, but that's what's fun about this. I love seeing how someone takes an idea they were inspired by & adds blue heels to it! 

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  27. I know exactly what you mean!  But, I'm not really that afraid to "steal" or "copy" someone else's look.  It's not like it's plagiarism!  I always try to give credit to the inspiration source–be it a pinterest photo or link to someone's blog.  I hope that the people that I copy see it as a compliment and not as something malicious.  Check out my blog at http://www.teachinstyle.com and feel free to copy whatever outfits you like. . . .
    Carla

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  28. This look is totally you! 

    I would not feel like my creativity is staunched if I copied something off a mannequin or Pinterest. 

    You give the outfit more life than a mannequin (lol) and just because something has already been done doesn't mean you can't do it better.=]Love the shoes you picked out. Completes the look=DBrandywillbakeforshoes.com 

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  33. This is so pretty. Regardless, you are so creative, Kendi! Love how you paired it w/ a blue pair of shoes. And when I saw you wearing the ray-bans, I was about to ask if these were new! It's as if I already know your closet, geez! 🙂

    love from california

    http://liriostyle.blogspot.com

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  35. I re-read it in my Carrie voice-over. Does that count? 

    Kendi, I've recreated outfits and copied almost exactly what you've worn. Copying is the greatest form of flattery (or so they say). I'll say that's true.

    {heatheringheights.com}

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  36. I always read in a Carrie voice-over doesn't everyone 🙂

    If copying outfits is wrong, I don't wanna be right! Kendi your my hero……

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  37. Ahh, I feel the same way.  Not that my own ideas are incredibly original or super creative, but I feel slightly guilty when I copy someone else's idea.   Like, maybe I shouldn't post the outfit or something?

    I heard Carrie through and through.

    Glad you chose heels over no feet.  Good choice.

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  40. When I worked at the mall, girls would come in and buy the complete outfit off the mannequins. It made me happy! I worked hard to style those mannequins. We didn't have specific things we had to display, so we could do what we liked. Don't feel bad about it. Hard work goes into it!
    -ash
    http://www.stylizedwannabe.blogspot.com

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  42. Isn't that one reason why your blog exists, so that you can help people find new inspiration in their closets?  I have definitely copied several looks on Pinterest or off mannequins without apology.  That's why it's there!  You definitely add your own personal touch that makes it all your own.  The blue shoes are fab.  😉  Don't be so hard on yourself!  

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  43. This outfit has been officially pinned on my "Style" board. Thank you for letting me copy you and your Madelwell-copied outfit 😉

    XXo,
    Neekoh

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  44. I know what you mean. But then what's the point of reading style blogs if you can't copy at least a little bit? And besides, unless you own all of the exact pieces they're wearing (which I guess you did in this case! lol!) then it's not an exact replica, it's just inspiration!

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  45. Is it weird that I always read your blog with a Carrie voiceover? Totally normal, right? And I hope you know that YOUR style crush on Madewell has significantly impacted my wallet – because unlike wanting to copy manequins, I always find myself wanting to recreate YOUR looks! It's a vicious cycle.
    Morganseemomogo.blogspot.com

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  46. I read something to this effect on karen walrond's blog (chookooloonks) – she said, "Honey, it's ALL been done before, but it's never been done by YOU."  

    I remind myself of that, a lot. (I'm a designer and photographer and yoga teacher. Being creative is, as much as I try to hide behind an engineering degree, what I do.) 

    It's never been done by you – that's reason to share your take on something you saw somewhere else. 

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  48. Even if you copy an outfit exactly, it will become different simply because it's on you instead of the other person…or mannequin. (Unless you have an identical twin, in which case it's probably just copying.) I for one would love to copy this copied outfit…and I like to think it would be unique on me because I'm not you!

    ~Sarah of the New and Improved Sarah's Real Life

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  51. On Sunday I saw a woman wearing a skirt I have, as a shirt. I thought it was the most brilliant idea ever, and today I'm wearing the same skirt as a top. It happens. Don't worry about it.

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  56. Oh my gosh, Kendi! I'm watching the STC series right now and as I made it to the end of your post my voice naturally switched to the Carrie voice-over and then I read your next line! So in case you're wondering, you nailed it! Also, I feel your pain about copying other people. I run a small blog and I've really struggled to put myself out there because I don't want to seem like a poser. It's hard to draw the line between inspiration and blatant copying. And if you give credit, does it really matter anyway?

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  58. I'm not even going to pretend I don't try to copy you when I wake up and have one of my, "hey, maybe I'll try to look cute today?" days. 

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  59. This look is so cool and chic. And I don't think any less of bloggers who are inspired to recreate a look they've seen; I like seeing how different people interpret different looks. It's fun, and why not recreate something? Imitation is the highest form of flattery… right? I'm sure that mannequin is very flattered that you've copied her look. 😉

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  60. OMG, I was thinking to myself, "Self you need to use your Carrie Bradshaw voice when reading the question", so I reread the question. Haha. I prefer to think of the situation as a form of inspiration, not so much non originality; that's why I visit blogs like yours, and sometimes my outfits come out surprisingly similar, but I don't mind; I look and feel good so that's all that really matters. Love the scarf, and you're a pro at skillfully tucking in those blouses!

    xoxo,
    Genie

    http://www.uniqueandchicstyle.blogspot.com

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  61. You just have to think to yourself, "I'm unique – just like everyone else." Everything has been done before. History repeats itself. That's life. I'm surprised you were able to take a photo of the mannequin – some stores don't like that. I know now that J.Crew (some stores) ban you from taking photos of the clothes in the dressing room because you don't "own" them technically… I read it on another fashion blog. Just be yourself. Like everyone else.

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  63. What a brilliant idea — to snap a picture of the mannequin for later inspiration! I never thought about doing that, hah.

    Gorgeous outfit though! Those colors work so well together. Love all the textures too.

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  64. I've been guilty of this too! I think when it comes to mimicking a specific persons outfit or look, specifically a fashion blogger, it seems so sneaky and wrong but its so hard not to recreate the look because it's so cute. Especially if you already have all of the items just sitting there in your closet starring back at you waiting to be replicated. With Pinterest and street style blogs, it's a lot easier to recreate a look and instantly feel guilty about copying, where advertisements are targeted toward a much more broad audience, it doesn't seem so bad to copy a look from a recent J.Crew magazine. There are just some days where I don't have inspiration to get dressed and often look to these places to help me decide. I would have never even known this look was shown in a Madewell store but it doesn't change my mind about this look or you. You rocked this outfit and I think that's all that matters! 

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  67. I'm no artist, I think of it as "reblogging" an outfit… it's something I like that suits my personality and tastes, and I'm proud to share it even if it wasn't my own idea.

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  68. Copying something is the greatest form of flattery. Don't feel bad about it, be happy that you are sharing another great outfit with even more people than would have seen it at the store.

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  70. I can see what you're saying about not wanting to copy another person (or mannequin's) look. If you think of all the images with bombarded with everyday, it's probably likely that we're all copying someone. I guess it's all about who you copy, having that 'eye' to see the good outfit in all the images.

    x Elena @ Randomly Happy

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  73. I feel that way sometimes too…then I remember that no one I know reads fashion blogs, so they'll never know. But it's weird, being an English teacher and always having to tell my students that plagiarism is wrong – I sometimes feel like if I "copy" an outfit I see somewhere else, I'm somehow committing fashion plagiarism. 

    http://www.fancyalterego.wordpress.com

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  74. OMG, I always think of Carrie when I read your posts, and in today's post you actually mentioned her…:))! That was hilarious!

    On a different note, I do this all the time, re-creating outfits that I see on mannequins.  I find nothing wrong with this!

    You look really cute!

    Mamalina

    http://dresssidestory.blogspot.ro/

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  75. I worry not that I'm copying someone else, but that I'm copying myself. EGADS. What if someone realizes I've already worn this in this way before?! (Which, of course, no one would ever notice. Nobody pays that much attention to each other's everyday outfits. If someone in my circle wore a combination more than once I wouldn't pick up on it. Unless possibly it was two days in a row.) So there's self-plagiarism AND pinterest-plagiarism, though I do have an epic collection of stuff that's kind of in the spirit of some of those outfits, and have taken loose ideas. Because if you never took loose ideas from anyone, you'd be naked. I'm sure it'd be a fun world to see everyone's cookies and cookie jars, but I live in the North, where that's just not feasible. 
    xo,
    Leah / http://www.superstarling.com

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  77. My favorite thing to say these days, 'if you're not using Pinterest to get dressed in the morning, you're trying too hard.'  

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  79. There's absolutely no reason why you should be ashamed of that Kendi, you totally nailed to look! Bet they just fired that mannequin for not looking as cute and chic as you do!

    Cee.♥

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  80. Love that outfit! 🙂 That's why we have Pinterest – so we can steal (read share) ideas and get inspired! 

    happymedley.blogspot.com

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  83. I think there is nothing wrong with "copying" an outfit, but maybe that's because I'm not the creative type. If copying outfits wasn't a thing, I would have nothing to blog about (and probably nothing to wear)! You look fantastic here, so I think you should continue to give outfit-copying a try from time to time 🙂

    Natalie
    Name's Not Ashley

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  84. Seriously, I read that in my Carrie voice before I even saw your last line haha. 

    I feel the same way sometimes, except with writing. I read a lot of blogs and then when I think of something to write about, I say to myself, "I better make sure I didn't just read that somewhere else." 

    Suzy 
    Suzy Speaks

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  86. I love this outfit! I find that the theme of originality has been discussed by a large portion of bloggers lately. I really love that everyone is reevaluating and trying to make sure that they're showing themselves through their blogs. I hate the posts of entirely gifted things, but I feel bloggers are coming back to their true selves and I really like that. The scarf is so cute. I'm curious how you tied it.

    Cate
    http://fromlittlethings-cate.blogspot.com/?m=0

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  87. Lol, on my blog I encourage ladies to take the outfit ideas I post and run with it. I want them to look their possible best and feel great about themselves. Getting ideas from the outfits I wear can help someone get dress quicker, look at their closet in a new way, and make them feel confident that they look put together and cute! Kendi, thank you for sharing your style because it's helping other ladies look great! You are doing a fantastic job! We don't have a madewell store in our area so if I want to shop Madewell, I go online and I miss all the cute ideas they have at the store on the manaquins, so I am trilled you shared this look. You look fabulous! I love the yellow blouse. Yellow always makes me feel cheerful!

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  88. Haha. Your plagiarism comment made me laugh. It's true. I find it amazing about how rules are somehow extremely different for every aspect life.

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  90. Well since you asked…it's a square scarf so I halved it to form a triangle, then I draped it around my neck kind of like a cowboy would a bandana, with the triangle point coming to the center and the two ends crossed at my neck, and then laying evenly on both sides. I took the two ends pulled them and the center to the side and then just simply tied the ends together. Viola! It stays all day. Hopefully that makes sense! I'm not much of a DIY advice giver. 🙂

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  92. I think this looks cute. I wouldn't worry if other people think you're copying…everything is inspired by something else. I only think it is weird when people *only* copy outfits and try to be someone else. You clearly don't do that *shrug*

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  97. My blog post from Aug. 11, 2011. "If Copying is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right": 

    "One cannot be stylish if she copies another." I recently read this somewhere (and have heard this type of sentiment from many people in general) and thought we should discuss. My opinion might be clear – after all, one of the main premises of my blog is to re-create celebrity looks on a budget – but I have never shared why. 
    For starters, I think we are all talented at different things – some of us can cook, some of us are good at decorating, some of us are good at fashion. I think there is absolutely no shame in not being good at any of them, and that includes dressing ourselves. I think it's crazy to expect women to be amazing dressers, along with the millions of other things we are required to be good at everyday  – like our jobs, keeping the house clean, having good relationships. We should all give ourselves a little room to breathe, and love ourselves just the way we are, fashion forward or not. In fact, I think it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to NOT be good at fashion, and if that's case, then using the ideas we see in magazines, on blogs, and on other people are one of the best ways we can learn and figure out our own person style, as well as save tons of time getting dressed everyday.

    My favorite metaphor for this is using recipes to cook. No one would ever judge you (or at least, I hope not) for using a recipe to make dinner. If you can pull off a complicated recipe and make an amazing meal, you are still very talented cook. You are not without style just because you followed a recipe. Are you a master chef? Maybe not. Chefs create recipes, but not many of us expect to ever be chefs (aka "stylists" as they call in them in the fashion world). I am personally happy with being a really good cook. I take recipes, I add my own twist to them, and I think I create some pretty amazing meals (aka outfits) and that there is absolutely no shame in that. I also encourage you guys to copy my outfits all the time because through this blog I am volunteering to do save you some time and do the recipe-creating for you. 🙂 I'm curious to hear what you guys think. Do you believe that you can you re-create an outfit and still be stylish?

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  98. Consider it borrowing with a twist! Love this look! (And I'll possibly be stealing.) 🙂

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  99. Your post helped me dicide that I definitely need a yellow blouse for spring. Although, the striped skirt is not my style, yellow will look great with gray or black. Thanks.

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  100. Love your style, mannequins of the world be damned. Love everything you share here, gives me lots of inspiration for my own style. Thanks!

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  104. This is too cute. I love the yellow blouse and blue shoes! Very fun~

    -theresa
    collaredblouse.blogspot.com

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  105. Definitely read in Carrie voice-over. Especially the question at the end. Nice. 

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  106. I take pictures of mannequin displays all the time. (oops that may sound kind of creepy) It helps me get out of my dressing rut!  And who cares if you are copying?  We all get our fashion inspiration from magazines, Pinterest & blogs.  That's what they are there for 🙂

    Alice
    http://www.happinessatmidlife.com

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  109. Omg, this is my constant thought! I'm a designer who is focused on making styles from the 60s but feel current…IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE! I'm always focused on how to make something new out of ideas that have been done before without copying anyone! It makes me crazy! It's a lovely outfit and you look fabulous! What else matters?! Carrie would be proud!

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  111. "There is nothing new under the sun". It looks very cute. 🙂 Anyways, I'm pretty sure you're wearing this outfit better than the mannequin! 

    OCWishes.com

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  114. I love this look! The yellow blouse is such a fantastic pop of colour and the scarf really ties it all together. I think you look very chic, with a touch of rock star!

    Kate xo petite-adventures.blogspot.ca

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  118. I love it!  I think being inspired by someone is a wonderful thing – especially when you let people know.  That's the beautiful thing about blogs/pinterest/the internet in general. 

    And plus, you added the shoes (which look awesome – love the pop of blue!).  Totally original 🙂
    xoxoCKhttp://loveyourclothesloveyourself.com

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  119. Copying is not bad. Is a demonstration that we liked what we saw. As long as we are honest with ourselves and others to tell is not our genuine idea…

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  121. I actually pull inspiration weekly from Pinterest and magazines I subscribe to. I find that little bit of inspiration is necessary.

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  122. Love this outfit and I don't think there is anything wrong with copying a look that you like. That's the whole point of mannequins to give us inspiration.

    Agi:)

    vodkainfusedlemonade.wordpress.com

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  126. Don't fret giiirl. I feel like I copy everyone who is into minimalistic clothing, not because I see their outfits, but because we all wear black & white! Haha, it depends on how you pull it off and if your followers are also following the other people you take inspiration from. I say, just do your thang. 
    http://www.bellechantelle.com

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  128. Well, I copy YOU a lot so there! 🙂 You do bring up an interesting point though. As an average person, I think it's totally ok to copy looks. As a style blogger, I struggle with the pressure to be original all the time.

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  132. Love this – so cheerful and lovely!! (It's gray here today so I needed it….)

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  134. I am oh so obsessed with all of the scarves from Madewell! I'm dying to get some to wear and frame! They are beautiful!

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  135. "What do we not create on our own because we are too afraid it resembles someone else? " that spoke to me. And I definitely read this in my best Carrie voice! Loved this post for its honesty. 

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  137. Any outfits a bloggers post is unoriginal. Why? Because there's hundreds of blogs posting the same outfits/ensembles/"ideas they think are their own". Why is it groundbreaking for a striped skirt and sheer blouse to be paired. Uh-oh, Sam from the Stripes&Sheer blog is probably SO mad at you right now. Pointless.

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  138. You need to read this book "Steal Like An Artist"! It will change your life and outlook on "theft" 🙂 http://www.amazon.com/Steal-Like-Artist-Things-Creative/dp/0761169253

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  140. Was it really necessary to re-post your own blog entry on someone else's blog? You could have simply commented "I discussed this same topic on my blog," added your own opinion, and encouraged Kendi to check out your post. Anyways, J, I thought you started your blog because (in your own words) "I couldn't find a single style blog I could relate to." You don't have a blog roll and tell your readers you don't have any to recommend, so why are you here reading? Please take your passive aggressive comments behavior back to your blog.

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  141. Kendi, i think you are very original, but we all need inspiration sometimes…that's why I read your blog, I always try to re-create some of your outfits. 🙂

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  142. That doesn't really make sense – about 90% of blog comments (in general, on all blogs) are from other bloggers. Why wouldn't people with blogs join in the conversation?

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  143. Huh? It was meant to be a friendly comment, not sure where you are getting passive aggressive from. I felt it would be rude to link to my blog post – it's not my intent to self-advertise or get people to visit my blog, hence no link. I just wanted to share my friendly two cents, and copying and pasting felt the most straightforward way to do it!

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  144. You are right, J. You didn't add a link, you used Kendi's blog to re-publish your 2011 post! Go check out your own post from last January, where you specifically warn bloggers not to use Facebook or other's blogs for promotion. You could have summarized your own thoughts in a few sentences rather than blinding copying and pasting with the date and title. A link with a well-thoughtout comment would have been much more appropriate. You might not get why your comments here and on your own blog are passive aggressive, but it's obvious that you need everyone to fawn over you. Kendi, I'm sorry to do this on your blog. I really enjoy reading everyday! I can't allow J to hijack your post for her own agenda like she did to sweet and smart Allie from Wardrobe Oxygen. J's opinion of people rises and falls with if they agree with her or not. 

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  145. There's a serious difference between conversation and discussion and re-posting your blog on someone else's. Did anyone else do that? No. Just you. Have some respect for Kendi!

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  146. Friend, all of my comments on this post and others come from a happy place, or I wouldn't post them! 🙂 I recognize your IP address as someone who has consistently criticized me/my character on my own blog over the past two years, and I'm disappointed you decided to spread that nastiness here, on someone else's website. People are bound to rub us the wrong way sometimes, miscommunications happen, but it's best (in my opinion) to just unfollow that blog and not engage with that person that is bugging you. Seemingly you have a LOT of incorrect info about me, and while you are always entitled to your opinion, just because you assign a nasty demeanor to me, doesn't actually meant that I actually have one. I am sad/disappointed that this kind of ugliness takes place anywhere on the Internet, let alone on this lovely blog and blog post. My sincere apologies to everyone reading. And if you want to get to know me or my motives for posting a comment or blog post, just ask! 🙂 I'm always happy to share more info!  

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  147. Sorry if you felt it was disrespectful! I get a handful of comments everyday from bloggers linking to their take on the day's topic. I sometimes feel like that's an attempt at blog traffic, so I felt this was by far the most respectful way to share! 🙂 This is a topic I really enjoy discussing so was looking forward to doing so here.

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  148. You recognize me from posting on your blog "over the past two years"? I posted on your board once in 2011. To ask a question about your budget. I am not coming from a nasty or angry place. You seem to be confused at the difference between "I disagree with your behavior towards Kendi" with "any comments without smiley faces and glowing adjectives is rude and mean." When I pointed out that your behavior is something you cautioned against less than one year ago, you made it about how I felt about you. That has nothing to do with it. I am now bowing out of these comments. I love Kendi's blog and I feel bad this has even gone this far, like it did on Allie's blog. If you want to re-publish blog content, do it on your own blog. If you want to have a discussion on another person's blog, do so by using your obvious intelligence (not joking here, you seem like a smart and creative person) to type out a comment that isn't an entire post from your own blog, and build relationships with others that way. It doesn't have to be leaving a link and a random sentence. You can leave a link with a thoughtful comment like, again, you suggested in your blog post.

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  150. I think your suggestions on a better way to comment are fantastic!  I posted what I felt was a friendly comment, and if you didn't think it was friendly, then commenting with a suggestion, or asking how I meant it seems perfectly appropriate! What i don't understand is how me responding and explaining my reasoning and clarifying that it was friendly, got the nasty, disgusting response from you that it did. Assigning things like  "needing people to fawn over me" to my character?  What in the world does that have to do with anything? You are welcome to your own opinion and to hate me as much as you'd like but posting those nasty belief's on someone else's blog is just strange and has nothing to do with anything, other than a personal vendetta that it seems you need to work out on your end. this went from "here are some suggestions" (appropriate) to "you are disgusting and here is why" (inappropriate).

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  151. Who are you to determine what is "appropriate" and "inappropriate"? Just because you have rules for what people can and cannot post on your blog doesn't mean that people have to abide by them here, on someone else's blog. No need to get so defensive. Because this is all one big "discussion", right?

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  153. Kendi, I apologize for continuing with this mess. However, I can't believe J has taken to editing her responses from earlier today. 

    Just so everyone who reads this will know, J edited her replies on this thread. She originally wrote this on1/31 4:59pm then edited it at around 1am 2/1:
    Huh? It was meant to be a friendly comment, not sure where you are getting passive aggressive from. I felt it would be rude to link to my blog post – it's not my intent to self-advertise or get people to visit my blog, hence no link. I just wanted to share my friendly two cents, and copying and pasting felt the most straightforward way to do it!
     

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  154. Again, J, you edited your response to present yourself in a better light. It's ok to not respond and just step away from negative comments. In fact, that's the best thing to do when you realize the fight isn't worth it. What you are doing right now is downright dishonest. You can tell me I'm attacking your character and make this about me being "nasty" when the real issue here is that you posted your own blog content on someone else's blog and then got caught editing your response to present yourself in a better light. 

    Originally posted 1/31 6:03pm then edited 2/1 about 1am. Your original comment:

    Friend, all of my comments on this post and others come from a happy place, or I wouldn't post them! 🙂 I'm always happy to clarify if you aren't sure the tone I mean in a comment, and as I already clarified, that was meant to be a friendly comment! So your angry response attacking my character seems really unnecessary. I recognize your IP address as someone who has consistently criticized me/my character on my own blog over the past two years, and I'm disappointed you decided to spread that nastiness here, on someone else's website. People are bound to rub us the wrong way sometimes, miscommunications happen, but it's best (in my opinion) to just unfollow that blog and not engage with that person that is bugging you. Seemingly you have a LOT of incorrect info about me, and while you are always entitled to your opinion, just because you assign a nasty demeanor to me, doesn't actually meant that I actually have one. If you want to get to know me or my motives for posting a comment or blog post, just ask! 🙂 I'm always happy to share more info!

    Reply

  155. Hey guys — I'm sorry I'm just now chiming in on this comment thread. For the record, I read and agreed with what J posted. She makes some really good points in her comment and original blog post. I try to open the comments up for discussion as much as possible, may it be random thoughts, advice, your own wisdom to impart, questions you have, or anything in between even if it means you only like my shoes or the background of an outfit post. I try to keep it a level playing field as long as it doesn't get nasty towards me or anyone else. There is a lot of negativity on the internet so I like to try to keep this place a bit of a happy one.

    Tina — thank you for your feedback and comment on the post. I appreciate that you would back me up! That really does mean the world to me. I don't believe that J was trying to do anything other than post her opinion on my blog. But if she was and had different motives, at the end of the day it didn't hurt me or my blog in any way. I can't stop people from sharing their thoughts, opinions or even blog links on my blog because then it wouldn't be a discussion and it wouldn't be a community. I SO appreciate your sticking up for me, it's nice to have a friend on the internet. At this point though we should move on from the back and forth. I'm afraid nothing good will come of it if it keeps going down that road.

    J — thanks for your input! I appreciate your analogy to a recipe — I completely agree. Although sometimes it is hard to copy someone or pinterest in front of an audience. I ask the same of you as I did of Tina to curb this discussion. I think both points were made clear and I think we can walk away from this, even if we don't all agree.

    Thanks again for you thoughts and for taking the time to read the post.

    Kendi

    Reply

  156. This comment and this thread is so creepy and stalkerish!! WHY are you reading my blog if you hate me this much, and then following me and attacking me on other pepole's websites? All of my comments are well-meaning and coming from a perfectly friendly place, I don't understand your responses at all.

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  158. You "can't believe" I edited my response? I don't understand that phrasing. What you pasted above is almost word for word, and I am always going to be humble enough and willing to keep working towards an understanding and wording my thoughts in a way that is respectful towards others – THAT's where I'm coming from. Why you repeatedly are trying to paint everything I say and do in a negative light is beyond me. I am baffled by this entire thread and, and genuinely would like to come to an understanding. But my responses seem to just make you more angry. It's frustrating. 

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  160. Wow J – Way to keep it classy. Kendi kindly asked you to stop, but you refused. Talk about inappropriate.

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  162. Hi Kendi, I just wanted to stop and say that you are just such a super cool chick for how graceful you are about handling situations. (Sorry, I was being noisy and reading through all of the comments on this page!)  Reason likes this (and your awesome style) is why I keep coming back to read your blog every day, you're so approachable but still really graceful.  (Plus, I admire you so much for opening up your own business   We owned our own business for a few years and that was definitely one of the hardest points of my life, it takes an insane amount of work and I'm so impressed with you.)

    Reply

  163. I understand where J came from completely. She expressed her feelings on this topic before and just wanted to share that with Kendie. No double motives. So people stop getting so sensitive and try to understand where they're coming from. so much negativity from that other lady, I felt bad for J and I don't even know her or have read her blog!

    Reply

  164. Haha, I totally thought of Carrie as I read this. At one point I thought, "Wow. She's getting really deep with us." I liked the depth.

    As for the mannequin thing… I actually have had this ongoing idea for a series running around in my head since I created my blog last year… I don't want to give it away, but I was thinking along the same exact lines that you just laid out here in such a Carrie-like fashion. So I totally get you.

    xo
    -Nathy
    http://earnestyle.blogspot.com/

    Reply

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